Thursday, February 26, 2015

It's Beginning To look A Lot Like Spring


Oh boy, we have Snow Flowers.
Thank's Dan
and sorry East Coast.
***************************
Thanks Hal
**************************
TWO SOLUTIONS

CALIFORNIA:

* A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.

* The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

* He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

* He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

* The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

*The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

* The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

* The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

* The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack.

* The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re the nature of coyotes.

* PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.


TEXAS:

* The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.

* A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

* The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging.

* The Governor has spent $.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

* The buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.


Thanks Randy (LINK)  

15 comments:

  1. Spring is a looooong ways away when I look at the snow around here. We have had the #2 record snowfall so far. Co author Jeffery on my blog reported 9 inches yesterday in Alabama!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I forgot to say I'm 45 mins north of Boston.

      Delete
    2. Irish, you have our snow that usually hits here at 6000 feet in the Sierra Nevada. We usually have many feet on the ground and we have nothing.

      Delete
    3. Irish, I feel you pain. Where I live we're ready for it, but your area isn't.

      Delete
  2. I stole that last joke. I live in California you know.

    Have a fabulous day Odie. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  3. Actually, that happened to the Governator of Texas.

    And keep up the thought about Spring

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. edutcher, the Governator was a California curse I'm afraid.

      Delete
    2. The way I see it, any governor that packs a .45 on his morning jog is a real Governator, not some girly man getting bossed around by a Kennedy.

      Delete
  4. Odie: Just don't ask your neighbor what he used to paint those yellow flowers with!

    ReplyDelete
  5. That can't be true, in California version, a government employee was fired. I just don't find that believable…

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Race, that is an excellent point. I'll have to give Randy a piece of your mind.

      Delete

Put it here ... I can't wait to read it. I have the Captcha turned OFF but blogger insists it be there. You should be able to bypass it.

** Anonymous, please use a name at the end of your comment. You're all starting to look alike.

*** Moderation has been added due to Spam and a Commenter a little too caustic. I welcome comments, but talk of killing and racist (or even close to racist) are not welcome.