Wednesday, April 23, 2014
The Bacon Tree
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the
United States , wandering aimlessly and starving.
They are about to just lie down and wait for death,
when all of a sudden Luis says:
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Is, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon."
With renewed hope, they struggle up the next sand dune,
& there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon,
double smoked bacon, every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved! Ees a bacon tree!"
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage?
We ees in the desert don't forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage
that smell like bacon?
Ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree!"
With that, Luis staggers towards the tree.
He gets to within 5 yards, Pepe crawling close behind,
when suddenly a machine gun opens up,
and Luis drops like a wet sock.
Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath:
"Pepe, go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"
"Luis, Luis miamigo, what ees it?"
"Pepe ees not a bacon tree. Ees...
Ees...
Ees...
Ees...
Ees...
Ees...
Ees... a ham bush."
SO SORRY I know there is something wrong with
me for posting this.
Just couldn't help it!
Little voices made me do it!
And I bet you tried to do the accent didn't you?
I know you did!
You're grinning aren't you?
Thanks Trailbee!
24 comments:
Put it here ... I can't wait to read it. I have the Captcha turned OFF but blogger insists it be there. You should be able to bypass it.
** Anonymous, please use a name at the end of your comment. You're all starting to look alike.
*** Moderation has been added due to Spam and a Commenter a little too caustic. I welcome comments, but talk of killing and racist (or even close to racist) are not welcome.
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Yes, I did read it with full accent...
ReplyDeleteFull accent indeed!
ReplyDeleteLL, how can you not?
ReplyDeleteAccent? What accent?
ReplyDeleteRandy, ees goood Amigo.
ReplyDeleteAdrienne, did you come here to cause trouble?
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahahahahahaha. Love it.
ReplyDeleteHave a terrific day Odie. ☺
Ohhh Pancho!!! Ohhhh Cisco!!!
ReplyDeleteMe too with the full accent. No es posible leerlo sin acento.
ReplyDeleteLOL that's great Odie :-)
ReplyDeleteI think I heard that, but it was in the Middle East.
ReplyDeleteSandee, that's why I posted it.
ReplyDeleteScotty, wow you sure jogged my memory.
ReplyDeleteEuripides, see
ReplyDelete2T2, you show exquisite taste.
ReplyDeleteedutcher, bacon trees grow everywhere.
ReplyDeleteI thought eet was muy funny.
ReplyDeletePepe might have said this "LO QUE JODER PASA" WHAT THE F**K IS HAPPENING. HOPE I REMEMBER THAT RIGHT FROM MY YEARS DOWN SOUTH OF THE BORDER. I LIKE MEXICANS---THAT IS THOSE THAT STAY SOUTH OF THE RIO GRANDE.
ReplyDeleteCube, see
ReplyDeleteRon, cee
ReplyDeleteDamn ham!
ReplyDeleteRace, and sneaky ham can be the worst.
ReplyDeleteI did the accent
ReplyDeleteRick, it's just the way we are.
ReplyDelete