Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Woodsterman ~ An Equal Opportunity Offender


Q: What is a Yankee?

A: The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.



Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

A: The position of the dirt bag.



Q: Why is divorce so expensive?

A: Because it's worth it.



Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

A: Doughnuts.



Q: Why is air a lot like sex?

A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.



Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely?

A: Because Janet Reno is her real father.



Q: What do you call a smart blonde?

A: A golden retriever.



Q: What do attorneys use for birth control?

A: Their personalities.



Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

A: 45 lbs.



Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

A: 45 minutes.



Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.



Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?

A: They can't stand criticism.



Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,   caring, and good-looking?

A: Because those "MEN" already have boyfriends.



Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.



Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Thanks David

6 comments:

edutcher said...

Three there, starting with 5, The Blonde could dig, but go easy on 7.

I'd like you around for a while.

PS 9 reminds us just as there's a Dad Bod, there's a Mom Bod.

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahahahaha. My favorite?

Q: Why is divorce so expensive?

A: Because it's worth it.

Have a fabulous day, Odie. ☺

Mike aka Proof said...

Not sure you offended one-legged, transgendered, Presbyterian lumberjacks. Try harder next time!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, it's a secret.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, it's a mans point of view.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Proof, wait until tomorrow.