Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Woodsterman ~ An Equal Opportunity Offender

Q: What is a Yankee?

A: The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

A: The position of the dirt bag.

Q: Why is divorce so expensive?

A: Because it's worth it.

Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

A: Doughnuts.

Q: Why is air a lot like sex?

A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely?

A: Because Janet Reno is her real father.

Q: What do you call a smart blonde?

A: A golden retriever.

Q: What do attorneys use for birth control?

A: Their personalities.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

A: 45 lbs.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

A: 45 minutes.

Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?

A: They can't stand criticism.

Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,   caring, and good-looking?

A: Because those "MEN" already have boyfriends.

Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Thanks David


edutcher said...

Three there, starting with 5, The Blonde could dig, but go easy on 7.

I'd like you around for a while.

PS 9 reminds us just as there's a Dad Bod, there's a Mom Bod.

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahahahaha. My favorite?

Q: Why is divorce so expensive?

A: Because it's worth it.

Have a fabulous day, Odie. ☺

Mike aka Proof said...

Not sure you offended one-legged, transgendered, Presbyterian lumberjacks. Try harder next time!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, it's a secret.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, it's a mans point of view.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Proof, wait until tomorrow.