Monday, April 7, 2014

Any Given Sunday



An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick Catholic Church....


'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.  The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's.  Soon after, another Irish man entered the confessional.  Father, it has been two months since my last confession.  I've had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the past two months.  This time, the priest questioned, "Who is this Nookie Green?''  "A new woman in the neighborhood" the sinner replied. 'Very well,' sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary's.;
At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and  matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasn't wearing any underwear.  The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, "Is that Nookie Green?" The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his ears - but calmly replied, 'No  Father, I think it's just a reflection from her shoes'.

Thanks Trailbee ! 

14 comments:

USA_Admiral said...

That was good. Never saw that answer.

Adrienne said...

Remind me never to wear green shoes...

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahahahaha. Well there you go.

Have a fabulous day Odie. ☺

Scott Way said...

You just talked me into "Going Green" Odie.

edutcher said...

Actually, color is irrelevant...

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Admiral, it's good to surprise you once in awhile.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Adrienne, never wear green shoes.

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Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, yup ......

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Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Scotty, it's a sign of the times.

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Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, not for this story.

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Ron Russell said...

Get a life Odie---more things in life than just sex. Hopefully you'll find one someday.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, REALLY?

Marine4Ever said...

IDEA!
Instead of wearing these mirrors tied to my boots, I'll go back to spit-shining 'em!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Marine, that can work, but I never liked spit shinning boots.