Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Teacher's Comments

These are actual comments made on students' report 
cards by teachers in the New York City public school 
system. All teachers were reprimanded.
 

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom 
and has started to dig.
 

2. I would not allow this student to breed.
 

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
 

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. 
(my favorite...)
 

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently 
fails to achieve them.
 

6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to 
hold it all together.
 

7. This child has been working with glue too much.
 

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, you should sell.
 

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train 
isn't coming..
 

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered 
twice a week.
 

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child 
beat out 1,000,000 others.
 

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

32 comments:

USA_Admiral said...

More than a couple of these were used to describe me.

cube said...

Times have changed since I attended PS 145 in Manhattan. Admittedly, this was a long time ago, but I remember some wonderful teachers who were dedicated professionals that would never write something like this for parents to read.

The state of education in this country is dismal.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Admiral, I hope you and I have both out grown that.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Cube, You're assuming the parents of these children can read.

doubletroubletwo said...

LMAO! :) those were great Odie! Have a good day ;)

Sandee said...

I know some of these kids too Odie so these are true. Every last one of them. Many of these same kids grew up and now work for the federal government.

Have a terrific day. ☺

Adrienne said...

OMGosh - I love number 10. I come in contact with each and every kid described by these teachers. Hubby mostly teaches adults, but when he does get a public school kid we call them "droolers." To be fair, a few are okay. Homeschool kids? Delightful!

LL said...

Teachers said every single thing about me. And ...look how I turned out.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

2T2, glad you enjoy.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, some people have to deal with them on a daily basis.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Adrienne, are any of your day lilies students?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ll, proved their point, huh.

edutcher said...

T-shirt punchlines.

Now, could we have union teachers dull enough and lazy enough not to be able to summon up their own words (and ones a bit more accurate, not to say tactful) and forced to fall back upon a few pre-digested slogans upon which a 10 year old could improve?

Your call...

Sheik Yer'Bouti said...

Odie - if the parents can't read, they can always write for free help.

Rick Street said...

I like # 11

Velcro said...

I can identify with those kids. I kept telling everyone that I'm not as dumb as I look, until FINALLY someone agreed with me and told me that I couldn't possibly be.

Race Bannon said...

I actually had a teacher write - "Does well in class, need to keep the snide comments to a minimum."

...I asked my Mom what snide meant, and then asked what the minimum was.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, did I mention this was for fun?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Booti, now why didn't I think of that.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Rick, me too, and it's the wisest of them all.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Velcro, do we share the same circle of school friends?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Race, didn't work, huh.

edutcher said...

I know, but I can imagine a lot of union teachers writing stuff like that.

Or am I wrong?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, to be honest, I just don't travel in those circles.

Ron Russell said...

As a former teacher I've said much worse. Some of the little brats need a boost or they will never get to the finish line.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, so you call it a boost huh.

trailbee said...

I never did live up to my potential, so I had to go back and do it again.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Trailbee, been there done that.

Mr. AOW said...

I just read these to Mrs. AOW. She says that she has used 3, 4, and 5 but not in writing. She said these things to some students, though!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Mr. Not the others? I'm disappointed.

Always On Watch said...

Mr. AOW is correct: I do tell students off from time to time.

I am patient in the extreme, but when my patience runs out, take cover.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

AOW, I'm ducking as I read this.