Monday, February 18, 2013

RETIREMENT BONUS

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided 
to offer them retirement bonus. They promised any officer 
who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every 
inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in 
his body.. The officer got to choose what those two
points would be.
 
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured 
from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured 
at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
 
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter
and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched 
hands to his toes. He walked Out with $96,000.
 
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly 
old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be 
measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'
 
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to 
reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous 
two Officers had received.
                        
But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along
with him providing the measurement was taken by a 
Medical Officer.
 
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 
'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the 
tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began 
to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly
exclaimed, ''Where are your testicles?''

The old Chief calmly replied,  " Vietnam ''.
Thanks Dan !

18 comments:

Randy-g said...

I saw that one coming but it was great anyway Odie!

sig94 said...

An oldie but a goodie.

That's why Obama keeps returning to Chicago. Gets to visit the boys now and then.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Randy, can't pull anything over on you.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sig94, he never had "boys".

Adrienne said...

That works out to about 90 million. Good move!

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahaha. I love it. That's some bonus too.

Have a terrific day Odie. ☺

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Adrienne, thanks for calculating that for us.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, That's a painful way to get rich.

Opus #6 said...

I picture him singing soprano.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Opie, but in tune?

edutcher said...

Yes, but when it comes up, it stays up more than 5 minutes.

Ron Russell said...

Hard to outfox an old Navy CPO!

Euripides said...

Made me laugh....

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, good for you!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, a rich, retired, old Navy CPO.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Euripides, that's a good thing, huh.

USA_Admiral said...

Did not see that one coming.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Admiral, an old sea dog like you?