Friday, March 17, 2017

The Saint Patrick's Day Ostrich

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown
Ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for
Their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries
And a pint," and turns to the ostrich, "What's
Yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the
Order. "That will Be $9.40 please" The man
Reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact
Change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come
Again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries
And a pint."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and
Pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again.
"The usual?" Asks the waitress. "No, this is
Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato,
a salad, and a pint" says the man. "Same," says the
Ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order
And says, "That will be $32.62." Once again
The man pulls the exact change out of his pocket
And places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any
Longer. "Excuse me, Sir. How do you manage to
Always come up with the exact change in your
Pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was
Cleaning the attic and Found an old pot of gold. When
I picked it up, a Leprechaun  appeared and offered me
Two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had
To pay for anything, I would just put my hand
In my pocket and the right amount of money
Would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people
Would ask for a Million Dollars or something,
But you'll always be as rich as you want for as
Long as you live!"

"That's right..Whether it's a gallon of milk or a
Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,"
Says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second
Wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long
Legs who agrees with everything I say.."


Thanks Dick 


  1. May you and Mrs Odie have a green St Paddy's Day.

  2. "a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say"--the universal wish for men who seek happiness and peace and quiet.

    Erin Go Bragh Odie.

  3. Actually, that describes the perfect marriage. So far I've gotten as far as the big ass. :)
    Enjoy the day, Odie. (I'm trying to get Hal to agree to a trip to Reno so we can meet for coffee!)

  4. edutcher, nope it's a white one still, LOL.

  5. Curmudgeon, really? I've always liked athletic like me.

  6. Trailbee, that would be great. I'll also be in Homewood three times this year if you want to do another Lake trip.

  7. Happy St. Patrick's Day Odie!

  8. Bwahahahahahahaha. Well one out of two isn't bad.

    Have a fabulous St. Patrick's Day, Odie. ☺

  9. Don't you usually get three wishes---would have dumped the bird.

  10. sig94, Thanks, I'll probably look a lot greener tomorrow morning. I become Irish every Saint Patrick's Day.

  11. Sandee, ostriches make great companions.

  12. Great news about Homewood. Thanks.

  13. Trailbee, I'll post the schedule on the web site and send you a link.


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