Sunday, November 29, 2015

Lexophile . . . . Really?




LEXOPHILIA - WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?

A lexophile of course!


•        How does Moses make tea?   Hebrews it. 


•        Venison for dinner again?   Oh deer!


•        A cartoonist was found dead in his home.  Details are sketchy.


•        I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.


•        Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.


•        England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.


•        I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.


•        They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.


•        I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.


•        Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.


•        I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.


•        I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.


•        This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.


•        When chemists die, they barium.


•        I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can't put it down.


•        I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.


•        Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.


•        I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.


•        Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?


•        When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.


•        Broken pencils are pointless.


•        What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.


•       I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.


•       All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen.  The police have nothing to go on.


•       I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.


•        Velcro - what a rip off!


•         Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.
Thanks Hal

28 comments:

  1. I'm sure that the list isn't comprehensive, but I can't think of another one.

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  2. In my mind, I read them in Rodney Dangerfield's voice...

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  3. Did you hear about the dumb blonde who peed on a pile of 100 dollar bills? Apparently her boyfriend saw the stack of dough and said "urine the money."

    Get it, Odie? You see, when the boyfriend...oh, never mind.

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  4. Bwahahahahahahaha. I linked you to Silly Sunday.

    Have a fabulous day Odie. ☺

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  5. Fredd, that one requires an instruction manual.

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  6. Sandee, thank you I keep forgetting to do that.

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  7. Those are great---Kidney Bank, Liverpool! Made a slight update on Widget your buddy over at "The Vulgar Curmudgeon" added to his site. You can see the new update at "Rule 5 Sites". Sometime I hate fu*king with code---makes my head spin!

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  8. There was the blonde who stared at the orange juice because it said Concentrate.

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  9. LOL they were all funny

    Have a tanfastic Sunday :-)

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  10. Heeheehee! Yep, i got my job at the bakery for that very reason. Have a great Silly Sunday!

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  11. Did you know that in my state, you can get a heavy fine for Littering but, it is totally free to crap your pants. How unfair is that!

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  12. Laughing...Those are great.

    Have a great Sunday, and a happy week.

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  13. Ron, yeah but you're good at it. I guess you're trying to tell me my sidebar needs updating.

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  14. messymimi, guess you're really kneaded then.

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  15. Timothy, I guess you'd better keep things moving then.

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  16. Up to you Buddy, but not mandatory! Don't you just hate those thing that are?

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  17. Ron, I'm not rushing it, but I'll get there.

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Put it here ... I can't wait to read it.