Sunday, November 29, 2015

Lexophile . . . . Really?




LEXOPHILIA - WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?

A lexophile of course!


•        How does Moses make tea?   Hebrews it. 


•        Venison for dinner again?   Oh deer!


•        A cartoonist was found dead in his home.  Details are sketchy.


•        I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.


•        Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.


•        England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.


•        I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.


•        They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.


•        I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.


•        Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.


•        I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.


•        I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.


•        This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.


•        When chemists die, they barium.


•        I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can't put it down.


•        I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.


•        Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.


•        I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.


•        Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?


•        When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.


•        Broken pencils are pointless.


•        What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.


•       I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.


•       All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen.  The police have nothing to go on.


•       I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.


•        Velcro - what a rip off!


•         Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.
Thanks Hal

28 comments:

LL said...

I'm sure that the list isn't comprehensive, but I can't think of another one.

Race Bannon said...

In my mind, I read them in Rodney Dangerfield's voice...

Fredd said...

Did you hear about the dumb blonde who peed on a pile of 100 dollar bills? Apparently her boyfriend saw the stack of dough and said "urine the money."

Get it, Odie? You see, when the boyfriend...oh, never mind.

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahaha. I linked you to Silly Sunday.

Have a fabulous day Odie. ☺

Adrienne said...

Very clever.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, I saw it onced before.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Race, you da man!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Fredd, that one requires an instruction manual.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, thank you I keep forgetting to do that.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Adrienne, yes ......

Ron Russell said...

Those are great---Kidney Bank, Liverpool! Made a slight update on Widget your buddy over at "The Vulgar Curmudgeon" added to his site. You can see the new update at "Rule 5 Sites". Sometime I hate fu*king with code---makes my head spin!

edutcher said...

There was the blonde who stared at the orange juice because it said Concentrate.

stevebethere said...

LOL they were all funny

Have a tanfastic Sunday :-)

messymimi said...

Heeheehee! Yep, i got my job at the bakery for that very reason. Have a great Silly Sunday!

Brighid said...

It's all good!

Timothy Hecht said...

Did you know that in my state, you can get a heavy fine for Littering but, it is totally free to crap your pants. How unfair is that!

"Annie" said...


Laughing...Those are great.

Have a great Sunday, and a happy week.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, yeah but you're good at it. I guess you're trying to tell me my sidebar needs updating.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

edutcher, GOOD ONE!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Steve, thank you Sir!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

messymimi, guess you're really kneaded then.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Brighid, Thanks, I think so too.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Timothy, I guess you'd better keep things moving then.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

"Annie", Glad you like.

Ron Russell said...

Up to you Buddy, but not mandatory! Don't you just hate those thing that are?

Rick Street said...

:-)

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, I'm not rushing it, but I'll get there.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Rick, glad I could make you smile :D