Tuesday, November 10, 2015

A Boy from Arkansas

A young Arkie goes off to college. Half way through
the semester, having foolishly squandered all of his money
on his girlfriend, he calls home. 

"Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern
education is developing! They actually have a program here
at Hendrix that will teach our dog, Ole' Blue how to

"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ole'
Blue in that program?" 

"Just send him over here with $1,000" the young
Arkie says "and I'll get him in the course."

So, his Father sends the dog and $1,000.                    

About two-thirds of the way through the
semester, the money again runs out.
The boy calls home.   

"So how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his Father

"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says,
"but you just won't believe this -- they've had such good
results they have started to teach the animals how to

 "Read!?" says his Father, "No kidding! How do we
 get Blue in that program?"  

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the

  The money promptly arrives. The Arkie and his
girlfriend are able to buy enough marijuana to last the                    
whole semester. But our hero has a problem. At the end of
the year, his Father will find out the dog can neither talk,
nor read. Even though he was always pretty much able to lie
his way out of trouble, the Arkie asked his girlfriend to
help him think of a really good lie to tell his Dad.
She very quickly came up with a plan for him.

So she has him shoot the dog.

When he arrives home at the end of the year, his
Father is all excited.

"Where's Ole' Blue? I just can't wait to see him
read   something and talk!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news.
Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole'
Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner,
reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually

"Then Ole' Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your
Daddy still messing around with that little redhead who
lives down the street?"  

The Father went white and exclaimed, "I hope you
shot that lying damn dog before he talks to your Mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!" 

"That's my boy!"  

The kid married his girlfriend, they both went on
to law school in Fayetteville, he became Governor of                     
Arkansas and President of the United States, and
you already know what a liar his girlfriend turned out to be!


Fredd said...

Those Arkys sure are hard on dogs.

Just ask Buddy...

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Fredd, they're hard on everything.

Well boys and girls, I've been on an R&R the last two nights. I have done something to my right shoulder. I'm having to type this left handed. Things might be a bit slow around here for a bit.

LL said...

I don't want details on what you were doing that was so vigorous that it actually messed up your arm all the way to your shoulder. It's nice being ambidextrous, though. Seriously, take it easy, put a heating pad on the shoulder and get well soon.

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha. Yep, sounds about right.

Have a terrific day Odie. ☺

Adrienne said...

Poor Blue...

About the shoulder. Send Mrs. Odie over to the drug store and have her purchase some SalonPas Jet Spray. It must be the spray - not patches, creams, or any of the other assorted ways it comes. JET SPRAY! No smell, and it really will help. When my shoulder acts up the Jet Spray (along with a couple ibuprofen) is my go-to remedy.

Seriously, Odie - it helps with the pain.

sig94 said...

Sorry to hear you're ailing Odie. If it hurts when you do that, don't do that.

Ailing Odie- sounds like one of those movies where they end up shooting the dog....

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, I'm home and icing it . Thanks

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, perzackly!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Adrienne, I'll talk to Mrs. Odie about your advise. I've never felt such pain, but ibeprophin and cold packs are helping.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sig 94, gin helps.

Fredd said...

Age related aches and pains: Ice is not always the answer. Sometimes heat pads are the way to go.

If you feel better after sitting in your Jacuzzi on the deck of your opulent yacht, Odie, then ditch the ice.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Fredd, I'm just going with what I've been taught. Ice for swelling for the first 24 to 48 hours then heat. It's my right shoulder and I feel useless without it.

Ron Russell said...

Damn wasn't expecting that punch line! Thought it was just another one of your dumb redneck jokes and was about ready to fire down on your west coast ass. But now I see you have some redeeming qualities!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, I always think of myself as a high mountain redneck, and not a coastal lib pussy.

angrymike said...

Hope you're shoulder gets better fast, hope you weren't at my hood when you did it !!! ;-D

angrymike said...
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