Thursday, September 17, 2015

Why Grandpa's Are Better


Have you ever wondered what  the difference is between 
Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it  is:

There was this loving grandfather who always made a 
special effort to spend time with his  son's family on 
weekends.  Every Saturday morning he would take his  
5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for 
some quality time --  pancakes, ice cream, candy-- 
just him and his granddaughter.

One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold 
and could not get out of bed.  He knew his granddaughter 
always looked forward to their drives and would be very 
disappointed.  Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and 
said that she would take their granddaughter for her 
weekly drive and breakfast.

When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to 
see her grandfather who was still in bed.  "Well, did you 
enjoy your ride with grandma?" he  asked.

"Not really, PaPa, it was boring.  We didn't see a single asshole, 
queer, piece of shit,  horse's ass, socialist left wing Obama lover, 
blind  bastard, dip shit, Muslim camel humper, 
peckerhead or son of a bitch anywhere we went.  
We just drove around and Grandma smiled at 
everyone she saw.  I really didn't have any fun."

***Almost brings a tear to your eye,  doesn't  it?***

10 comments:

LL said...

That's very close to how it works at my house.

Sandee said...

It did bring a tear to my eye. Bwahahahahahaha.

Have a fabulous day Odie. ☺

Dick said...

This is why the family keeps the kids away from me.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, that's exactly how it works at mine.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, there, there, it will be OK.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Dick, same thing happens here.

Ron Russell said...

Seems that ole Grandpa knows something Grandma has yet to grasp! Great ole fellow!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, I have to catch myself when driving the Grandson around ... like this morning.

Mac said...

Reminds me of the time Little Johnny went to the construction site -

Little Johnny was acting up, driving his Mom crazy. Exasperated, his Mom tells Johnny, “Johnny, why don’t you go down the road and watch the builders where they’re building a house? Maybe you’ll learn something.”
Mom then enjoyed a peaceful couple of hours until Johnny returned. Mom asked, “Well Johnny, did you learn anything today?”

Johnny replied, “I learned how to hang a door!”

Mom said, “Oh really? Tell me all about it”

Johnny says, “Well, first you slap the fucker up. Goddamnit, the cocksucker don’t fit. Then you pull the sonofabitch down, shave a cunthair off this side, a cunthair off the other side, and slap it up again. Motherfucker! It fits perfectly!”

Appalled, his Mother says, “Johnny! Go to you room and wait until your father gets home!”

When Dad gets home, Mom says, “Johnny’s up in his room. You better go talk to your son about what he told me today.”

Dad goes upstairs and asks Johnny, “What did you tell your mother today?”

Johnny replies, “I told her I learned how to hang a door.”
Dad says, “Well, tell me about it”
Johnny: “Sure Pop! First you slap the fucker up. Then the Goddamn cocksucker don’t fit. Then you pull the sonofabitch down, shave a cunthair off this side, a cunthair off the other side, and slap it up again. Motherfucker! It fits perfect!”

Outraged, Dad says “Alright Johnny, that's it! Go out back and get me a switch!”
To which Johnny sez, “Fuck you! That’s the electrician’s job!”

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Mac, He's right! Thanks for the laugh.