Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The Bacon Tree


Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the 
United States , wandering aimlessly and starving.

They are about to just lie down and wait for death, 

when all of a sudden Luis says:

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell.  Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Is, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon."

With renewed hope, they struggle up the next sand dune, 

& there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, 

double smoked bacon, every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved!  Ees a bacon tree!"

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage?

We ees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage 

that smell like bacon?

Ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree!"

With that, Luis staggers towards the tree.

He gets to within 5 yards, Pepe crawling close behind, 

when suddenly a machine gun opens up, 
and Luis drops like a wet sock.

Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath:

"Pepe, go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis miamigo, what ees it?"

"Pepe ees not a bacon tree.  Ees...

Ees...

Ees...

Ees...

Ees...

Ees...

Ees... a ham bush."

SO SORRY I know there is something wrong with 

me for posting this.

Just couldn't help it!

Little voices made me do it!

And I bet you tried to do the accent didn't you?

I know you did!

You're grinning aren't you? 


Thanks Trailbee!


24 comments:

LL said...

Yes, I did read it with full accent...

Randy-g said...

Full accent indeed!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, how can you not?

Adrienne said...

Accent? What accent?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Randy, ees goood Amigo.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Adrienne, did you come here to cause trouble?

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahahahaha. Love it.

Have a terrific day Odie. ☺

Scott Way said...

Ohhh Pancho!!! Ohhhh Cisco!!!

Euripides said...

Me too with the full accent. No es posible leerlo sin acento.

DoubleTroubleTwo said...

LOL that's great Odie :-)

edutcher said...

I think I heard that, but it was in the Middle East.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, that's why I posted it.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Scotty, wow you sure jogged my memory.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Euripides, see

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

2T2, you show exquisite taste.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

edutcher, bacon trees grow everywhere.

cube said...

I thought eet was muy funny.

Ron Russell said...

Pepe might have said this "LO QUE JODER PASA" WHAT THE F**K IS HAPPENING. HOPE I REMEMBER THAT RIGHT FROM MY YEARS DOWN SOUTH OF THE BORDER. I LIKE MEXICANS---THAT IS THOSE THAT STAY SOUTH OF THE RIO GRANDE.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Cube, see

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, cee

Race Bannon said...

Damn ham!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Race, and sneaky ham can be the worst.

Rick Street said...

I did the accent

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Rick, it's just the way we are.