Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The Bacon Tree


Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the 
United States , wandering aimlessly and starving.

They are about to just lie down and wait for death, 

when all of a sudden Luis says:

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell.  Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Is, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon."

With renewed hope, they struggle up the next sand dune, 

& there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, 

double smoked bacon, every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved!  Ees a bacon tree!"

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage?

We ees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage 

that smell like bacon?

Ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree!"

With that, Luis staggers towards the tree.

He gets to within 5 yards, Pepe crawling close behind, 

when suddenly a machine gun opens up, 
and Luis drops like a wet sock.

Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath:

"Pepe, go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis miamigo, what ees it?"

"Pepe ees not a bacon tree.  Ees...

Ees...

Ees...

Ees...

Ees...

Ees...

Ees... a ham bush."

SO SORRY I know there is something wrong with 

me for posting this.

Just couldn't help it!

Little voices made me do it!

And I bet you tried to do the accent didn't you?

I know you did!

You're grinning aren't you? 


Thanks Trailbee!


24 comments:

  1. Yes, I did read it with full accent...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Adrienne, did you come here to cause trouble?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Bwahahahahahahahahaha. Love it.

    Have a terrific day Odie. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ohhh Pancho!!! Ohhhh Cisco!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Me too with the full accent. No es posible leerlo sin acento.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think I heard that, but it was in the Middle East.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Scotty, wow you sure jogged my memory.

    ReplyDelete
  8. edutcher, bacon trees grow everywhere.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I thought eet was muy funny.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Pepe might have said this "LO QUE JODER PASA" WHAT THE F**K IS HAPPENING. HOPE I REMEMBER THAT RIGHT FROM MY YEARS DOWN SOUTH OF THE BORDER. I LIKE MEXICANS---THAT IS THOSE THAT STAY SOUTH OF THE RIO GRANDE.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Race, and sneaky ham can be the worst.

    ReplyDelete

Put it here ... I can't wait to read it.