Thursday, April 3, 2014

Her First Date

If you didn't see this on the Tonight Show,  
I hope you're sitting down when you read it.
This is probably the funniest date story ever, 
first date or not!!!  We have all had bad dates 
but this takes the cake.
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most 
embarrassing first date that a woman ever had.
The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to 
why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter...snowing and quite cold... 
and the guy had taken 
  her skiing in the mountains outside 
Salt Lake City,Utah.
It was a day trip (no overnight).They were strangers, 
after all, and had never met before.
The outing was fun but relatively uneventful, 
until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she 
gradually began to realize that she should not have 
had that extra latte!!

 They were about an hour away from anywhere with 

a rest room and in the middle of nowhere!

Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for awhile.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, 
there came a point where she told him that he had better 
stop and let her go beside the road, or it would 
be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out 
beside the car, yanked her pants 
down and started. In the deep snow 
she didn't have good footing, so she 
let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. 
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching
 for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained 
from peeking. All she could think about was the relief 
she felt despite the rather embarrassing 
nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of 
another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the 
young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly 
glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to 
poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh 
from the icy metal.
It was quickly apparent that she had a brand 
new problem, due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of 
the moment, she answered her date's concerns about '
what is taking so long?' with a reply that indeed, 
she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance!
He came around the car as she tried to 
cover herself with her sweater and 
then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, 
he burst out laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when 
they finally managed to compose

themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, 
as hysterical as the situation was, they 
also were faced with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take something hot to 
free her chilly cheeks from the 
grip of the icy metal! Thinking about 
what had gotten her into the 
predicament in the first place, both quickly realized 
that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, 
her first time date proceeded to unzip his 
pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As the audience screamed in laughter, 
she took the Tonight Show prize 
hands down. Or perhaps that should be 
'pants down'. And you thought your 
first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment... 'This gives a whole 
new meaning to being pissed  off.'
Oh and how did the first date turn out?

He became her husband and was sitting 
next to her on the Leno show.

Thanks Dan !


Randy-g said...

A whole new meaning indeed!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Randy, true love and golden showers.

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahaha. You have to do what you have to do. Loved this Odie.

Have a fabulous day. ☺

Euripides said...

Ah, such a heart-warming, er, butt-warming story.

edutcher said...

You just knew that ending.

cube said...

What an ending!

Ron Russell said...

Damn pissed off and pissed on at the same time!!!!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, Reminds me of a date I had onced.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Euripides, a wiz by any other name is just as sweet.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

edutcher, yes I did, but then I posted it.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Cube, you liked that, huh.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, S, or should I say P, happens.

Proof said...

Sounds like a typical first date to me!

Always On Watch said...

Mr. AOW will be telling this one at the VFW tonight.

Marine4Ever said...

Sheech, Odie... that was a long read for an ol geezer like me. I fell asleep during it.

Besides... that's the only picture you've got of her?!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Proof, it's just like mine.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

MR, I take great satisfaction when he does too, thanks.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Marine, I know we old guys need our photos to stay awake, but did really want photos of babes urinating? Never mind, I think I'd rather not know.