Saturday, August 17, 2013

Polish ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
(One of these is her? Oh, I had to get the babes in somewhere.)

Although his English was not perfect, they got along very well.
One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him to arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean what are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland .

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?
I got proof.

What kind of proof?
She going to poison me.

She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read English pretty good, and it say:

Thanks Dan ! 

  And here some utter Rule 5 ers:


Reaganite Republican said...

Half of me is deeply offended

It's either the stupid Irish side, or stupid Polish side... can't remember

LL said...

I didn't see that one coming. But if it was one of those women, they'd kill you with kindness without the need for polish remover.

Randy-g said...

That was outstanding! At least she wasn't a nagger...

Marine4Ever said...

Thanks for getting the babes in, Odie!

Sometimes you worry me... you'll put up a post and I'm thinking, "I know he could have put some babes in here! It doesn't matter that they've got nothing to do with what he's talking about... he coulda put some babe in here."

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

RR, we here at Woodsterman pride ourselves on being equal opportunity offenders.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, only Polish need worry.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Randy, I know, I agonized for half a second on whether to use that.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Marine, you'll never realize just how much I agonize over you getting your babe fix.

Adrienne said...

Naggers are the worst!

Sandee said...

He's not the brightest candle in the box is he? Bwahahahahahahaha.

Have a fabulous weekend Odie. :)

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Adrienne, they can be.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, candle? I don't remember candles.

USA_Admiral said...

That was one great joke.

The images were too!!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Admiral, well of course, I have to keep my reputation going.

Proof said...

Some of those ladies look they they could be pole-ish dancers!

Teresa said...

Loved it! funny stuff.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Proof, I'm sure they danced a few Pols.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Teresa, thank ye kindly.

Ron Russell said...

Ha! Great joke and pretty girls, where's my beer!

edutcher said...

He should tell him a little Pledge will restore him with one rub.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, sorry dude I drank it.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, really? I'll have to remember that and pass it on.

Reaganite Republican said...


The Power of Headlines:
MISS SWEDEN BIKINI 2013 (is Izabell Hahn)

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Thank You RR