Saturday, May 18, 2013

Golf Game ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style


A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde approached them she asked the trio if she could join them. Naturally, the guys all agreed.
"Thanks fellas. By the way, I dance in a topless bar so not much shocks me. If you want to smoke, drink, bet,                                                  
swear, tell off-colour jokes or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. But listen, I consider myself a decent player, so
please don't try to coach me."
With that the guys agreed to relax and invited her to drive first.  All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she bent to place her ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball 270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green.
The father's mouth was agape. "That was beautiful," he said.
The blonde put her driver away and said, "I really didn't get into it, and I faded it a little."
After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots, the blonde took out a wedge and lofted the ball within five feet of the hole.
The son said, "Damn, lady, you played that perfectly."
The blonde frowned and said, "It was a little weak since I've left a tricky little putt."  She then sunk the five-footer for a birdie. Having the honours, her drive landed nearly 300 yards away, smack in the middle of the fairway.
For the rest of the round the statuesque blonde continued to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole.
When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under par and had a nasty 12-foot putt for a par. 
She turned to the three guys and said, "I really want to thank you all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd really like to break 70 on this course.  If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this hole I'll take him back to my apartment, pour some 35-year-old Scotch, fix him a steak dinner and then show him a good time the rest of the night."
The yuppie son jumped at the thought! He strolled across the green, carefully eyeing the line of the putt and finally said, "Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right into the cup."
The father knelt down and sighted the putt using his putter as a plumb. "Don't listen to the kid, darlin', you want to hit it softly 10 inches to the right and let it run left down that little hogback, so it falls into the cup."
The grey-haired grandfather walked over to the blonde's ball, picked it up and handed it to her and said, "That's a gimme, sweetheart."
The blonde smiled and said, "Your car or mine?"
REMEMBER . . OLD AGE AND TREACHERY WILL OVERCOME YOUTH AND SKILL EVERY TIME!





Other Rule 5 ers:

22 comments:

LL said...

The more sand out of the hour glass...the more clearly you see through it.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

The more the hour glass is inverted ... the more I am extroverted.

Sandee said...

You've got to watch those old dudes. They are very wise and in the case very lucky.

Have a terrific day Odie. :)

edutcher said...

You wait until Mrs Odie goes shopping before you post, don't you?

Ron Russell said...

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, I like to think it was skill.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, Nope, I'm too crusty to worry about it. She thinks this blog is just part of my senility.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, OK! OK! OK!

Opus #6 said...

Odie, I imagine Mrs. Odie is glad you have a hobby.

Proof said...

Ping!

Marine4Ever said...

I don't play golf. I'm just here for the pictures.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Opie, yes and it keeps her active.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Proof, indeed.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Marine, let's here it for honesty.

edutcher said...

You're a lucky man.

(she really buys that?)

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, don't tell her that. She'll start to believe it.

Rick Street said...

Where does she play golf?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Rick, anywhere she wants to.

Reaganite Republican said...

I like the one with little strips of aluminum foil over her naughty parts- Reynolds Wrap should use her in an ad

Linked here:

Guess Who Contacted Me re. That Recent
'Miss Honduras - Jennifer Andrade' Post?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

RR, I'm with you, that is hot and ready made for a Renolds commercial.

joeh said...

I heard it with the punch line,
"That's a gimme if I ever saw one."

You told it far better.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Joeh, I like to add a little here and there.