Tuesday Is For Liberal Nonsense . . .

Thanks Facebook Buddies!

Awww Monday ~ Woodsterman Style XXXXVIII

Woodworking Tip ~ Woodsterman Style

The Goblin ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

 One morning a blonde was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.

"You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The blonde stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". The blonde again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..."

Next morning the little man wakes the blonde up.

"Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies

"F*ck me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"

Other Goblin Rule 5 ers:

The Other McCain 
Proof Positive

Randy's Roundtable

Reaganite Republican

Guns and Bikinis

Maggie's Notebook 

RULE 5 SITES
TOTUS

In a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
Adrienne's Corner
The Feral Irishman
Knuckledraggin My Life Away
Diogenes' Middle Finger
Ninety Miles From Tyranny
Doubletroubletwo  
Angrymikes hood 
MissK's World...
American Power
GOODSTUFF'S CYBER WORLD
A Nod To The Gods   
Act Well Your Part
Subject to Change
Your Crazy Uncle Bubba
Political Clown Parade
 The Last Tradition
The Right Way

T. G. I. Funday

Thanks Facebook Buddies

Sex ~ Like A Fine Aged Wine

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having
sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must have had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.

Thank You Richard (Damn I left your name off of this for 10 hours, Sorry about that)

Beer!

A Woman gets out of her Prius, walks into a bar 

and sits down next to a guy drinking a beer.
 

Woman: I see you drink beer.
 

Man: Yup
 

Woman: How many beers a day?
 

Man: Usually about 3
 

Woman: How much do you pay for each beer?
 

Man: About $5.00 including the tip
 

Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
 

Man: Maybe 20 years, I guess.
 

Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which 

puts your spending each month at $450.
So in one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?
 

Man: Yup.
 

Woman: For each year that you spend $5,400, not accounting 

for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, 

correct?
 

Man: Yup.
 

Woman: Did you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, 

that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings 

account and, after accounting for compound interest for the 

past 20 years, you could have bought a Ferrari?

Man: Do you drink beer?
 

Woman: No.
 

Man: Where’s your Ferrari?

Thanks Bob

What Veterans Won't Say

Thanks Solaratov

Awww Monday ~ Woodsterman Style XXXXVII

I was in a pet shop when I noticed a Muslim girl with the
most amazingly colored parrot perched on her shoulder.

"Where did you get that from?" I asked.
 

"Germany. There's fricking thousands of 'em!" said the parrot.

Thanks David 

Vacation Genie

While walking on a beach during one of his many vacations, 

Obama found a bottle on the sand and picked it up. Suddenly, 

a female genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said, 

“Master, may I grant you one wish?”

Obama responded, “Don’t you know who I am? I don’t 

need any common woman giving me anything.”

The shocked genie said, “Please, I must grant you a wish or 

I will be returned to that bottle forever.”

Obama thought a moment, then after grumbling about the 

impertinence of the woman said, “Very well, I want to awaken 

with three white women in my bed in the morning – 

so just do it and be off with you.”

The annoyed genie said, “So be it!” and disappeared.

The next morning Obama awakened with Lorena Bobbitt, 

    Tonya Harding, and Nancy Pelosi in his bed.

 His penis was gone, his knees were broken, and he had no health insurance.

 God is good.

Thanks Bob