Sunday, December 9, 2018

Words or Phrases with two Meanings




1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
  Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
  Male.... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
  Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
  Male..... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
  Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
  Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.
  Female..... A desire to get married and raise a family.
  Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
  Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
  Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
  Female.... An embarrassing by-product of indigestion.
  Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
  Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
  Male..... Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
  Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
  Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND;

He said.... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said.... You wear pants don't you?

He said..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said... That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the
sofa and fart!

He said..... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!


He said..... Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said.....Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Thanks Jim

9 comments:

  1. Job well done today Odie. Thanks for the chuckles.

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  2. I thought the female definition of thingy was what a man had where his legs come together.

    And you need to stop going to the NOW website to get your jokes.

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  3. edutcher, should I have a talk with Jim?

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  4. You mean men and women are different?

    Maybe I should have said women and men.

    Maybe I should have phrased it for all 97.5 gender types...

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  5. You'll have to consult a libtard. This is only what I'm told.

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  6. Kid, since when did you start listening to libturds?

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  7. I only expose their diseases.

    ReplyDelete

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