Attitude

Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
Cowboy: "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."
When you are over sixty who gives a shit............

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This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and 

sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?

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I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.  She said, 

"If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your 

hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over 

there instead of you."
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?

***********

I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess 

what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose  

patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said,  "Yesterday."
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?

***********

I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?

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I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing 

on a table. I said, "Nice legs."
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really 

think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed 

by now." When you are over sixty who gives a shit?

Thanks Dan !