Monday, January 5, 2015

Vagina Gun ~ "You Can't Make This Stuff Up"

Stolen weapon found during search at Tennessee jail

Loaded Gun hidden In suspect’s Vagina

The comments posted by readers are as funny as the story...

APRIL 22--A 19-year-old Tennessee woman had a loaded handgun hidden in her vagina when she was brought into jail yesterday afternoon following a collar for driving with a suspended license, police report.

As Dallas Archer was being booked into the Kingsport jail, a female corrections officer alerted to an “unknown object” in the teenager’s crotch during a search.

 The jailer and a female cop then accompanied Archer to a bathroom for further examination, a review that led to the recovery of a “North American Arms 22 LR revolver (loaded) which Ms. Dallas had concealed in her vagina,”according to a Kingsport Police Department report.

 A subsequent check revealed that the five-shot mini-revolver--which is four inches in length--had been “stolen from an auto burglary in 2013.” The handgun, which police valued at $250, is owned by John Souther, a 70-year-old retired car salesman.

In a TSG interview, Souther said that the gun was taken from his 1994 Mustang, which was “ransacked” last year while parked in his Kingsport carport. Souther said that police told him that the revolver had been recovered, but offered no further details. When told where the gun had been stashed, Souther said, “Oh, gosh.” He noted that he would eventually like “the little fellow” returned, but added that the weapon would require “a bath in bleach.”

News of the weapon in Archer’s vagina was first reported by the Kingsport Times-News.

Archer, seen in the above mug shot, was charged with gun possession and introducing contraband into a penal facility.

According to a jail official, Archer was released from custody after posting $6000 bond.


1. ​I thought it was her gun. Turns out it was snatched!

2. Gives new meaning to a gun having a "hair trigger".

3. Happiness is a warm gun?

4. At four inches in length it comes off as half cocked...

5. "For sale AA22LR never used;  still in the box."

6. Report reads, "...Introducing contraband into a penal 
facility." Shouldn't that be 'penile' facility?

7. If it went off, could you call it her 'boom box'?

8. Remember : Every vagina is to be treated as if it is 
loaded. Always keep it pointed in a safe direction.

9. They say it was a gun, but something smells fishy.

10.You can have my gun when you can pry it from 
my cold, stinking...

11. Oh my... accident waiting to happen.  
Could 'shoot the beaver'.

12.I have heard of shooting your mouth off, 
but this takes on a "hole" new meaning...

13.Complete reversal on the classic, "Is that a pistol in 
your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"

14.I wonder if she had 'gun-areah'?

15.Gives a whole new meaning to "Vaginal Discharge"...

16.Do you suppose she had a 'rectal reloader'?

17.A gun in hand is worth 2 in the bush?

18.Figures... it uses 'rim shot' ammo.

19. This supports the “Big Bang” theory.

 I wonder if she went off with a bang?

Thanks Dan!


Randy-g said...

Gun-areah? LOL.

Always On Watch said...

Those crazy Tennesseeans!

Full disclosure: my maternal ancestors hailed from east Tennessee.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Randy, I like the "Big Bang" theory.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

AOW, Are you sure you wanted to share that?

Curmudgeon said...

"Archer, seen in the above mug shot, was charged with gun possession and introducing contraband into a penal facility." Shouldn't that have more accurately read: penis facility? Just sayin'.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Curmudgeon, I think you should write the editors at Woodsterman and have that corrected.

Sandee said...

I worked in law enforcement for 25 years and men and women use special places to hide stuff. Oh the things I've seen loaded in there. Disgusting.

Have a fabulous day Odie. ☺

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, sounds like you should fill in the staff at Woodsterman.

cube said...

You know what they say, once you go Desert Eagle, you never go back.

edutcher said...

Why you never saw a woman with a Pennsylvania Long Rifle.

Proof said...

Gives whole new meaning to "concealed carry".

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Cube, how could you possibly?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

edutcher, sure did, that used to be my nick name.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Proof, or ... why you walking like that?

Euripides said...

Wasn't she the lead singer for the Sex Pistols?

LL said...

If you decided to snatch a kiss or vise versa you might get more than you bargained for...

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Euripides, you could be right, but it could have been ... oops I'm keeping that one to myself.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, let me know how that works out for you, I'm not even entertaining that thought.