Sunday, August 11, 2013


New sign at Wal-Mart:

I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00. I said "May I have large bills, please".
She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
When I got up off the floor ---  I explained it to her.

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car - we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door.
As I watched from the passenger side - I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!'
His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute - and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time --- a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not..'
Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25 --- so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes, I know --- but this way - you can just give me a dollar bill back.
She sighed and went to get the manager - who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so - and he handed me back the quarter -and said 'We're sorry - but we could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry - but they only had iceberg lettuce.
-- From Kansas City

I was at the airport - checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it were without my knowledge - how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually- challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'  She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing' - our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often. ' Not another word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life --- couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

They walk among us --- and make babies!
And vote for Obama, too !
Thanks Dan !


Race Bannon said...

I've done the change one - I think the clerk thought it was a tip, she kept the extra and gave me my coins back. I didn't want to explain...

sig94 said...

Betcha they be all hi skrul gerdeates. But they be twerking...


Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Poor Race, we're all victims of the stupid.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sig94, you must be a lot of fun on the texting circuit.

Adrienne said...

I've had to instruct untold numbers of teenagers of how to make change when someone gives them pennies in addition to the bills. What the hell is wrong with managers that this isn't covered in training???

doubletroubletwo said...

Thanks for the laughs today Odie! I needed that :)

Ron Russell said...

Hey, these things are closer to the truth than we like to think. Most of the store clerks would be lost if the machines didn't count for them. Younger people just don't know how to add and substract---and dividing is a foreign word.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Adrienne, I don't know. Training hell, where were their teachers in school?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

2T2, anytime :)

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, but they can put a condom on a banana at the age of 5.

Marine4Ever said...

Got up, made some coffee, looked outside and it's a beautiful day, thought I'd see what was going on over at Odie's... going back to bed.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Marine ... good night.

Sandee said...

Yep, and they breed and vote for democrats. It's very scary indeed.

Have a terrific Silly Sunday. :)

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, velly scarey.

Opus #6 said...

Lettuce take a deep breath and count to 10....

edutcher said...

It's the last one that's scary

Proof said...

Back when I was working for 3M, my ex wife was shopping in a K-Mart that required a pre-approval on checks (back in the olden days!).
So, she hands the clerk her check and the clerk asked her where her husband worked (like I said, this was the olden days!) My ex said "3M".

The clerk asked, "Could you spell it?".
Here's your sign!

Abelle | The Wows! And Oops! Of Life said...

Well, like they say, 'No medicine can cure stupidity' ;o)

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Opie, by all means, lettuce.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, the power stripe or the photo? No matter ... they're both scarey.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Proof, yup it required a stupid sign. I used to use a lot of 3M stuff when I worked for the phone company.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Abelle | The Wows! And Oops! Of Life, yeah but Obamacare is going to pay for it.

Timothy Hecht said...

Funny. I know from funny and that was funny.

I've done the McDonald's thing at
In-Out Burger.

Wal-Mart is a great place for freak pics. I think some people believe it's Halloween everyday at Walyworld.

Scott Way said...

My mother was head of the parts dept. at Sears for a time. She had to tell the maintenance men how to install the motors and other replacements...Things apparently have not improved there!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Timothy, the Walmart people are there to keep us on our toes.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Scotty, I think they still need her help.

cube said...


Always On Watch said...


The power strip story!


Some people clearly should not reproduced -- their parents shouldn't have, either.

Steve Kupillas said...

I gave the clerk at Arby's a 50 dollar bill for $6 of food. It took two of them to figure out the change I was due.
Hoo boy...

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Steve, I feel your pain.