Sunday, May 19, 2013

Lying In Bed Pondering




As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world,
I rapidly realized that I don't really give a hoot.

1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.

And you tell me to exercise? I don't think so.

I'm retired. Go around me.

Some Mature Thoughts:

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.
3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
6. If all is not lost, where is it?
7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser
8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.
10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the
bathroom.
14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play
chess?
16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.
17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth..
18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go
somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter.
19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
20. I'M UNABLE TO REMEMBER WHETHER I'VE SENT YOU THIS BEFORE
.

Thanks Dan !

24 comments:

Sheik YerBouti said...

Odie - I think this pretty much nails it.

Sandee said...

This is spot on.

Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. Bwahahahahahahaha. Me either.

Have a terrific Silly Sunday. :)

Supi said...

So true.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Booti, Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Supi, Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

Opus #6 said...

LOL about the world beating a path to your door. Too true!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Opie, Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

April Sargent said...

LOL I don't remember if you sent it to me or not either :P

Randy-g said...

I cant remember if I already posted a comment here...

edutcher said...

Regarding 7, if you don't get wiser as you get older, a lot of times you don't get older.

As for 13, ain't it the truth?

doubletroubletwo said...

Thats pretty much right on Odie lol. Hope you had a great sunday. :)

Ron Russell said...

Those are so true. Funny I remember the things I want to forget and forget the things I want to remember.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

April Sargent, Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Randy, Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

2T2, Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

trailbee said...

Pondering makes me fall asleep. I can never get past #1 or #1 or #1. Thanks. Very funny.

Always On Watch said...

Important lessons from Mother Nature! I've been heeding those lessons ever since I got too damn old to exercise like a fiend -- and I'm feeling better, too. Fewer sports injuries and no orthopedic surgeries required.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Trailbee, Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

AOW, Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

cube said...

Lol. Wait, did I comment about this before?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Cube, Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.