Monday, March 31, 2014

Attitude


Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
Cowboy: "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."
When you are over sixty who gives a shit............

***********

This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and 
sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?

***********

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.  She said, 
"If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your 
hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over 
there instead of you."
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?

***********

I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess 
what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose  
patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said,  "Yesterday."
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?

***********

I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?

***********

I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing 
on a table. I said, "Nice legs."
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really 
think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed 
by now." When you are over sixty who gives a shit?

Thanks Dan !

18 comments:

LL said...

I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over
there instead of you." --- ROFL

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahaha. I'm over 60 and I can relate to these. Yes I can.

Have a fabulous day Odie. ☺

cube said...

I'm not over sixty and I already don't give a shit. I guess I'm precocious ;-)

Curmudgeon said...

I do not now, nor have I ever given a shit...and the one about the "nice legs" slayed me.

Thanks for the chuckles. Love ya, mean it Odie.

edutcher said...

You can be over 60 and still care.

There's more good-looking women that age than you'd think.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, they just don't get it huh.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, those are me.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

CUBE! already? Welcome to my life.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Curmudgeon, I'll bet you tell that to all the good looking studs. Back at you Sweet Pea!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, Not me!

Ron Russell said...

Ole-timers just don't give a shit about many things---guess that comes with age, but then I've already said that. Anyway who really gives a shit.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, ah shit!

USA_Admiral said...

That milestone is quickly approaching.

Scott Way said...

I'll be there in 2 years...Then I can be more snarky than ever? Not possible!

Rick Street said...

Good ones Thanks for the smile

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Admiral, Been and gone ...

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Scotty, You're just a baby.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Rick, You bet. And thank you for the laugh with the new avatar. Just kidding you handsome devil you.