Sunday, April 30, 2017

Poor Conductor




There was once a poor conductor. His job was to collect the fares from people riding the train. This was many years ago and the fare was a nickel. And every day he would walk the length of the train collecting the fares from the travelers.
He then met a beautiful woman that he wanted to marry. But he was a poor conductor and really couldn't afford a wife. As he thought about it he decided to pocket every fifth nickel to help out. So it was that for a while he was taking every fifth nickel to help pay for his home and food.
Now as things like this progress his wife became pregnant. This threw our poor conductor into a tizzy. How could he afford to support a baby. His solution was to take an additional nickel so that he was taking two nickels out of every five. Things went along ok for a while but his wife became pregnant again. So our poor conductor decided to follow his pattern and now he was taking three nickels from every five.
At this point someone in management noticed that the revenues from the run were going down and after an investigation our poor conductor was arrested. He was tried in a court of law and found guilty of grand theft from the railroad. Now this was many years ago and the railroad held a great amount of power. They demanded his life for such and affront and giving in to the political pressure the judge sentenced our poor conductor to death.
 
The day of the execution came and the prison staff strapped him into the electric chair. At the appointed hour the warden give the order and the switch was thrown. Nothing happened. The prison staff checked to make sure that the connections were correct and the warden again give the order. The switch was thrown. Nothing happened. So a third time the staff checked to make sure that even the connections to the power lines were correct. Sure that all was in order the warden gave the order a third time. Again nothing happened. As the law at the time demanded our poor conductor was released having survived three attempts at execution. As he was leaving the prison the warden asked if he had any idea why he survived. The answer was "I guess I am just a poor conductor."
Thanks Dan

18 comments:

Curmudgeon said...

Groan.

Happy Sunday Odie.

Adrienne said...

I second that groan.

Have a wonderful day.

edutcher said...

I saw it coming, but it's still a long way to go for an, "Oy!".

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahaha. It's good to be a poor conductor sometimes.

Have a fabulous Silly Sunday, Odie. ☺

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Curmudgeon, groan?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Adrienne, groan, groan?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

edutcher, I just did it all right here.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, if you have to be a conductor you may as well be a poor one.

Lucky Lady said...

Happy Sunday and I am glad he was a poor conductor

Jan said...

Am I dumb not to see that coming?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Lucky Lady, you're right! No sense blowing a fuse over nothing.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Jan, Not at all. Thank you for not giving it a "Groan" like our first two commenters did.

Timothy Hecht said...

That joke was "electric".

My pun was better than yours because it was short.

Ron Russell said...

I suppose in prison stripes he was actually a non-conductor!

Mike aka Proof said...

Good thing he wasn't a member of the resistance!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Timothy, we are in agreement.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, of course.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Proof, saved his ass.