Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Odds and Ends From Hal ... Bless Him


The frequency of sexual activity of senior males depends 
on where they were born. Statistics just released from 
Statistics Canada and The United Nations B.O.H. Team, 
revealing that:
 
North American men between 60 and 80 years of age, 
will on average, have sex two to three times per week, 
whereas Japanese men, in exactly the same age group, 
will have sex only once or twice per year if they are lucky.
This has come as very disturbing news to both me and 
most of my buddies at  the golf club,
as none of us had any idea that we were Japanese.


************************************** 

I was sitting at a long stop light yesterday, thinking about what I would do to keep busy during retirement, minding my own business and patiently waiting for the light to turn green, even though there was no on-coming traffic.
 An old Nissan full of bearded, young, loud Muslims, shouting anti-American slogans, with a half-burned American flag duct-taped on the trunk of their car, and a "Remember 9-11" slogan spray painted on the side, stopped next to me.

Suddenly they yelled, "Allah Akbar!  Praise Allah!  Death to America!" and took off before the light changed.

Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler truck came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.

For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, "Man... that could have been me!"

So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver!

Thanks Hal 

8 comments:

  1. I hear Western Express Trucking has student positions available. Go get 'em Odie!

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  2. I like the last one the very best. Bwahahahahahahahaha.

    Have a fabulous day, Odie. ☺

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  3. Sandee, they've been around before, but they just hit me funny again.

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  4. That last one does strike a chord.

    And a lot of Moslems.

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  5. Odie: I think "rubber duck" has been taken as a CB handle. Maybe you could use "Lame Duck"? (Or does Obama own that one?)

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  6. Odie, I hear that truck driver just painted another Star of David on the driver's door. Wonder what intersection he earned that?

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Put it here ... I can't wait to read it.