Wednesday, December 7, 2016

70th Birthday List



1. My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.

2. Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE,
it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.

3. How to  prepare Tofu:

    a.  Throw it in the trash

    b.  Grill some meat

4. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

5. I don't  mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than  men who mention it.

7. Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.

10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. I forgot where I was going with this.

11. I love being over 70. I learn something new every day and forget 5 others.

12. A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.

13. I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a  day.

14. November 6, 2016 will be the end of Daylight Savings Time. Hope you don't forget to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds on
Saturday night.

15. Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.


Thanks Dick

Remember Pearl Harbor Today! 
 

14 comments:

Curmudgeon said...

I loved each one of these. I'm pretty sure I could beat you on that 14-day diet though. The cardio/spider web thingy was gigglesnort-worthy.

Have a wonderful day my friend.

REMEMBER PEARL HARBOR

Sandee said...

You are most talented Odie, but we all knew that already.

I love the last one. It scares me, but it made me laugh.

Have a fabulous day. ☺

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Curmudgeon, spiders will give me a workout every time.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, not like school for your parents where it was uphill both ways.

Ron Russell said...

I have noticed that feeling of being over the hill---funny how the trip down is faster than the trip up. Can I blame it on gravity or is there another unseen force at work here?

edutcher said...

1 is the story of my life once the doctor told me to eat more and women don't mind 6 if a man says he likes her curves or her rack.

It's all in the way you put it.

USA_Admiral said...

These are so good and I only have 15 years to go.

Brig said...

All true, ask me how I know... Have an awesome day Woody!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, It's Woodsterman's Law of Oldsters.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

edutcher, my scale misses my walks. I got the OK to dump the oxygen tank today, so maybe I can run a marathon tomorrow.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Admiral, remember to keep them up hill.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Brig, how do you know?

Brig said...

Yay, no more oxy tank, for you! that is great news!!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Brig, yes I can start to live a normal life now. I will have the tanks here for awhile for backup, but I do have the OK to go without them.