Monday, May 15, 2017
Sunday, May 14, 2017
Saturday, May 13, 2017
"In The Navy" ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style
Department of the Navy is now assigning females to quarters in a separate private "OFF LIMITS" area on all aircraft carriers. Addressing all boat personnel at Pearl, CINCPAC advised, "female sleeping quarters will be "out-of-bounds" for all males. Anyone caught breaking this rule will be fined $50 the first time." He continued, "Anyone caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $150. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $500. Are there any questions?"
At this point, a Marine Gunnery Sergeant from the security detail assigned to the ship stood up in the crowd and inquired...
"Sir, How much for a season pass?"
God bless the USMC!
Saved the best for last!
Other Navy Loving Rule 5 ers:
In a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
Adrienne's Corner
The Feral Irishman
Knuckledraggin My Life Away
Diogenes' Middle Finger
Ninety Miles From Tyranny
Doubletroubletwo
Angrymikes hood
MissK's World...
American Power
GOODSTUFF'S CYBER WORLD
A Nod To The Gods
Your Crazy Uncle Bubba
Political Clown Parade
The Last Tradition
The Right Way
Adrienne's Corner
The Feral Irishman
Knuckledraggin My Life Away
Diogenes' Middle Finger
Ninety Miles From Tyranny
Doubletroubletwo
Angrymikes hood
MissK's World...
American Power
GOODSTUFF'S CYBER WORLD
A Nod To The Gods
Your Crazy Uncle Bubba
Political Clown Parade
The Last Tradition
The Right Way
Friday, May 12, 2017
Friday Odds and Ends . . . .
I'm still contemplating that Viking Tattoo ....
***********
I've seen many remarkable nature photographs over the years
but this photo of a nesting Falcon in an old tree is perhaps the most remarkable nature shot that I've ever seen.
Please send this to most of your older friends, since the younger ones probably have never seen a falcon, and wouldn't recognize it.
but this photo of a nesting Falcon in an old tree is perhaps the most remarkable nature shot that I've ever seen.
Please send this to most of your older friends, since the younger ones probably have never seen a falcon, and wouldn't recognize it.
**************
Guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch. Bartender says "Pal, if you want a punch you'll have to stand in line" Guy looks around, but there is no punch line.
***************
Thanks Dan, Hal, and Facebook Buds
Thursday, May 11, 2017
Getting Old In Florida
Two elderly ladies are sitting on a front porch in Punta Gorda.
One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'
The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'
The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'
The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'
****************************** ****************************
Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home in Cape Coral reminiscing.
The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands,
the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also,
and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.
The third old lady remarked, 'I can't hear a word you're saying,
but I remember the guy you're talking about.
****************************** ****************************
A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community.
A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench.
After a few moments, the woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'
He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'
'So, where were you all these years?'
'In prison,' he says.
'Why did they put you in prison?'
He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'
'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'
****************************** ****************************
Two elderly people living in Fort Myers, he was a widower and she a widow,
had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the Clubhouse.
The two were at the same table, across from one another.
As the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her
and finally gathered the courage to ask her, 'Will you marry me?'
After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered 'Yes. Yes, I will!'
The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places.
Next morning, he was troubled. 'Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?'
He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory.
With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.
First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to.
Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage,
he inquired, 'When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?'
He was delighted to hear her say, 'Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart.'
'And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me.'
****************************** ****************************
A man was telling his neighbor in Port Charlotte, 'I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty.'
****************************** ****************************
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor in Bonita Springs ,
and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids
One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'
The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'
The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'
The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'
****************************** ****************************
Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home in Cape Coral reminiscing.
The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands,
the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also,
and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.
The third old lady remarked, 'I can't hear a word you're saying,
but I remember the guy you're talking about.
****************************** ****************************
A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community.
A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench.
After a few moments, the woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'
He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'
'So, where were you all these years?'
'In prison,' he says.
'Why did they put you in prison?'
He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'
'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'
****************************** ****************************
Two elderly people living in Fort Myers, he was a widower and she a widow,
had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the Clubhouse.
The two were at the same table, across from one another.
As the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her
and finally gathered the courage to ask her, 'Will you marry me?'
After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered 'Yes. Yes, I will!'
The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places.
Next morning, he was troubled. 'Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?'
He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory.
With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.
First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to.
Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage,
he inquired, 'When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?'
He was delighted to hear her say, 'Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart.'
'And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me.'
****************************** ****************************
A man was telling his neighbor in Port Charlotte, 'I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty.'
****************************** ****************************
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor in Bonita Springs ,
and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids
Thanks Dan
Wednesday, May 10, 2017
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
Snowflakes And Other Liberal Manifestations.
Well France, put your head between your legs,
and kiss your ass good bye. You took the EU
and Muslims first, and France last.
Thanks Facebook Buds
Monday, May 8, 2017
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