I’m reading a book during my lunch break. My manager comes over and slides in next to me. She looks concerned.
Manager: “Sooooo, [My Name]. It’s been discussed in certain circles that you spend every lunch break reading a book.”
Me: “Yes, I like reading.”
Manager: “But everyone else in the office eats together and socializes.”
Me: “Okay, and?”
Manager: “Don’t you think it would be better if you tried to get along with your coworkers?”
Me: “I’m sorry, but aren’t I allowed to do what I want on my break?”
Manager: “Yes, of course, it’s just that some people are saying you’re being antisocial and are asking me if you have a problem.”
Me: “Yes, I have a problem. I have a problem with shallow and vacuous coworkers who only talk about celebrity gossip and like to create drama by guessing who in management is sleeping with whom. I have a problem with needing this job that is filing away the once sharp edges of my beautiful soul, where the only thing standing between me flipping and burning the whole place to the ground is my one hour a day where I get to escape to a world of dragons and magic, and the warm hug of a just world where characters I don’t like get thrown into the pits of a thousand nightmares.”
Manager: “…ooookay, so, I’m just gonna tell them that your book is really good and has dragons and stuff.”
My daughter bought me a coaster which read" he googled his symptoms and it turned out he just needed everyone to piss off " I had to laugh as it hit the nail on the head. Sometimes all you need is peace and quiet.
ReplyDeleteAnon, Ah ... voluntary time outs.
DeleteSounds like everybody needs help.
ReplyDeleteedutcher, there was a guy like that in Vietnam that got sent home in a straight jacket. You couldn't wipe the smile off of his face.
DeleteSounds like me when I was a kid. Drove teachers nuts.
Deleteedutcher, I preferred recess.
DeleteTHAT IS ME! You described me to a "T".
ReplyDeleteCederq, I was either or. Worked alone most of the time anyway.
DeleteI understand.
ReplyDeleteTree Mike, I do too.
DeleteI got written up because I spent my lunch hour as described here. Actually it was failure to heed the warning that I must take my lunch in the lunch room; a small, loud, uncomfortable room. To me, there was no difference, they wanted to control my conduct whether possible.
ReplyDeleteWhile I did not elaborate beyond my love of reading, I share the same sentiments about shallow, vacuous coworkers. Indeed, I use those same descriptive terms.
Rick, you can't pick your coworkers, but you can pick your lunch mates.
DeleteNobody bothered me at lunch because they all went out for beer and wings but I came in early to beat the traffic and read the news and someone would always come around to hang out. I was too nice to tell them to leave me alone.
ReplyDeleteHenry Lee, too nice can be a curse.
Delete