Voodoo ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

A businessman was getting ready to go on a very lengthy business trip, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied while he was away.

He shopped and shopped looking at games and crafts before seeing a sex shop.
He went into the sex shop and explained his situation to the clerk.

The salesman there said, "Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks,
except... the Voodoo Penis!"

The husband said, "The what?"

The man repeated, "The Voodoo Penis" and pulled out what seemed to be an ordinary dildo. 
The husband laughed and said, "It looks like an ordinary dildo!"

The salesman then pointed to the door and said, "Voodoo Penis, door!"

The penis rose out of its box, whizzed over to the door and started banging away on the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so much that it shattered the glass.
Then the salesman said "Voodoo Penis, return to box!" and the penis stopped thrusting and immediately returned to the box.

The husband bought it and took it home to his wife. After the husband had been gone a few days, the wife began to miss him and remembered the Voodoo Penis.
She undressed, opened the box and said, "Voodoo Penis, my vagina."

The penis shot right to her vagina and went into action. It was absolutely incredible. After three mind shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough.
She tried to pull it out, but it wouldn’t budge. Her husband had neglected to tell her how to stop it. So she put her clothes on, got in her car and headed to the hospital.
On the way there, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink.

Gasping and twitching, the woman said, "I haven't had anything to drink officer. You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my vagina and it won't stop screwing me."
The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and replied, "Yeah right... Voodoo Penis, my ass!" 

Thanks Dick

Other Voodoo Rule 5 ers:

The Other McCain 
Proof Positive

Randy's Roundtable

Guns and Bikinis

RULE 5 SITES
TOTUS

In a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
Adrienne's Corner
The Feral Irishman
Knuckledraggin My Life Away
Diogenes' Middle Finger
Ninety Miles From Tyranny
Doubletroubletwo  
Angrymikes hood 
MissK's World...
American Power
GOODSTUFF'S CYBER WORLD
A Nod To The Gods   
Your Crazy Uncle Bubba
Political Clown Parade
 The Last Tradition
The Right Way