Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Woodsterman ~ An Equal Opportunity Offender


Q: What is a Yankee?

A: The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.



Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

A: The position of the dirt bag.



Q: Why is divorce so expensive?

A: Because it's worth it.



Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

A: Doughnuts.



Q: Why is air a lot like sex?

A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.



Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely?

A: Because Janet Reno is her real father.



Q: What do you call a smart blonde?

A: A golden retriever.



Q: What do attorneys use for birth control?

A: Their personalities.



Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

A: 45 lbs.



Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

A: 45 minutes.



Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.



Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?

A: They can't stand criticism.



Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,   caring, and good-looking?

A: Because those "MEN" already have boyfriends.



Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.



Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Thanks David

6 comments:

  1. Three there, starting with 5, The Blonde could dig, but go easy on 7.

    I'd like you around for a while.

    PS 9 reminds us just as there's a Dad Bod, there's a Mom Bod.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bwahahahahahahahahaha. My favorite?

    Q: Why is divorce so expensive?

    A: Because it's worth it.

    Have a fabulous day, Odie. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  3. Not sure you offended one-legged, transgendered, Presbyterian lumberjacks. Try harder next time!

    ReplyDelete

Put it here ... I can't wait to read it. I have the Captcha turned OFF but blogger insists it be there. You should be able to bypass it.

*** Moderation has been added due to Spam and a Commenter a little too caustic. I welcome comments, but talk of killing and racist (or even close to racist) are not welcome.