Pondering . . . .

I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. 
I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels 
and let the problem work itself out.
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I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People 
move out of the way much faster now.
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You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her 
hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably angry.
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Gone are the days when girls used to cook like 
their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
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You know that tingly little feeling you get when 
you really like someone? That's common sense 
leaving your body.
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I don't like making plans for the day because then 
the word "premeditated" get's thrown around 
in the courtroom.
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I didn't make it to the gym today. 
That makes five years in a row
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I decided to change calling the bathroom the John 
and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying 
I went to the Jim this morning
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Dear paranoid people who check behind shower 
curtains for murderers; if you find one, what's your plan?