Being Politically Correct

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, 

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as: 'HILLBILLIES.'
 

You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore,

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
BREASTED AMERICAN. '


2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 

'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'


3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'


4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 

'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'


5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 

' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'


6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 

' LOW COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 

' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'
(Loved this one!)

6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's
'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.'

 Thanks David!