I Just Can't Seem To Get A Break - 4

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our 

upcoming anniversary. She said, “I want something 

shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.”
I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started…...

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to 

apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter 

asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet 

at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I 

would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough 

for me’ and she processed
my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly 

told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might 

have gotten disability, too.’

And then the fight started…

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
“I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to
pay me a compliment.’
I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”

And then the fight started….....

Thanks Dan !