Oops I'm Late . . .

David thanks for the first, and Harold thanks for the last.

Not The Brightest Bulbs

I love Christmas lights! They remind me of

the people who voted for Obama.

They all hang together, half of them don't work,

and the ones that do, aren't all that bright.

Thanks Mr. Trailbee

Two Americas

Want to know why citizens who work for a living dislike those who vote for a living? This guy hits the nail on the head! In early January 2014, Bob Lonsberry, a Rochester talk-radio personality on WHAM 1180 AM, said this in response to Obama's "income inequality speech": Two Americas.

The Democrats are right, there are two Americas. The America that works, and the America that doesn't. The America that contributes, and the America that doesn't. It's not the haves and the have-nots, it's the dos and the don'ts. Some people do their duty as Americans, obey the law, support themselves, and contribute to society, while others don't. That's the divide in America.

It's not about income inequality, it's about civic irresponsibility. It's about a political party that preaches hatred, greed and victimization in order to win elective office. It's about a political party that loves power more than it loves its country. That's not invective, that's truth, and it's about time someone said it.

The politics of envy was on proud display a couple weeks ago when President Obama pledged to spend the rest of his term to fighting "income inequality." He noted that some people make more than other people, that some people have higher incomes than others, and he says that's not just.

That's the rationale of thievery! The other guy has it, you want it, and Obama will take it for you. Vote Democrat! That's the philosophy that produced Detroit. It's the electoral philosophy that's destroying America. It conceals a fundamental deviation from American values and common sense because it ends up not benefiting the people who support it, but betraying them. The Democrats have not empowered their followers, they have enslaved them in a culture of dependence and entitlement, of victimhood and anger instead of ability and hope.

The president's premise - that you reduce income inequality by debasing the successful - seeks to deny the successful the consequences of their choices and spare the unsuccessful the consequences of their choices. Income variations in society are, for the most part, a result of different choices leading to different consequences. Those who choose wisely and responsibility have a far greater likelihood of success, while those who choose foolishly and irresponsibly have a far greater likelihood of failure. Success and failure usually manifest themselves in personal and family income. If you choose to drop out of high school or skip college, you're likely to have a different outcome than someone who gets a diploma and pushes on with purposeful education. Have children out of wedlock and your life is apt to take one course; have them within a stable marriage and life is apt to take another course.

Most often in life our destination is determined by the course we take and the choices we make. My doctor, for example, makes far more than I do. There is significant income inequality between us. Our lives have had an inequality of outcome, but, our lives have also had an inequality of effort. While my doctor went to college and then devoted his young adulthood to medical school and residency, I got a job in a restaurant. He made one choice, I made another, and our choices led us to different outcomes. His outcome pays a lot better than mine.

Does that mean he cheated and Barack Obama needs to take away his wealth? No, it means we're both free men in a free society where free choices lead to different outcomes.

It's not inequality Barack Obama intends to take away, it's freedom. The freedom to succeed, and the freedom to fail.

There is no true option for success if there's no true option for failure.

The pursuit of happiness means a whole lot less when you face the punitive hand of government if your pursuit brings you more happiness than the other guy.... even if the other guy sat on his ass and did nothing... even if the other guy made a lifetime's worth of asinine and shortsighted decisions.

Barack Obama and the Democrats preach equality of outcome as a right, while completely ignoring inequality of effort.

The simple Law of the Harvest: "As ye sow, so shall ye reap" is sometimes applied as, "The harder you work, the more you get." Obama would turn that upside down. Those who achieve are to be punished as enemies of society and those who fail are to be rewarded as wards of society. Entitlement will replace effort as the key to upward mobility in American society if Barack Obama gets his way. He seeks a lowest common denominator society in which the government besieges the successful and the productive to foster equality through mediocrity.

He and his party speak of "two Americas" and their grip on power is based on using the votes of one to sap the productivity of the other. America is not divided by the differences in our outcomes, it's divided by the differences in our efforts. It's a false philosophy to say one man's success comes unavoidably as the result of another man's victimization.

What Obama offers is not a solution, but a separatism. He has fomented division and strife, pitted one set of Americans against another for his own political benefit. That's what socialists offer. Marxist class-warfare wrapped up with a bow.

Two Americas, coming closer each day to proving the truth to Lincoln's maxim that a house divided against itself cannot stand.

Thank You David

Best of '14

The Best Smart-Ass Answers of 2014!!
 
SMART ASS ANSWER #6

It was mealtime during an airline flight.
'Would you like dinner?', the flight attendant 

asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate 

to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her 

hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and 

flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need 

to see your ticket, not your stub.'


SMART ASS ANSWER #4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the 

grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for 

her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do these turkeys 

get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead...'
 

SMART ASS ANSWER #3

The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was 

stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been 

waiting for you all day,' the officer said.
The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on 

his way without a ticket.
 

SMART ASS ANSWER #2

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and 

noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before 

he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his 

truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car 

and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips 

and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge 

and I ran out of gas.'
 
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2014!!
 
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 

'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here 

tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal 

injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, 

no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and 

asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering 

from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When 

silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, 

shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to 

write the exam with your other hand.'

A BONUS EXTRA

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. 

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 

'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly... I really need you to 

pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.

Thank You Mr. Trailbee!

My Last Trip To Costco

Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog 

chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, which weighs 

191 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me 

asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told 

her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet 

again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in 

the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I 

awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of 

most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way 

that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets 

and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food 

is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try 

it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line 

was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the 

dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a 

Fire Hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a 

heart attack he was Laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you 

ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think 

of crazy things to say.

Thank You Mr. Trailbee.

QUESTION: I'm seeing a "reCAPTCHA" in my comments section. Is everyone seeing it? I've never had it before. I just bypassed it myself, but can you. I have it turned off in settings but it's still there for me. Let me know please.

A Bad Night

Oh my. Maybe for once I just might feel sorry for an attorney for about two seconds.



A bad night ...

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution.
His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.
As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about,
'What time of night to be getting home is this?
Where have you been?
Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself
up the stairs.

While he was in the bath, the phone rang.

The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.

Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news..

As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.

'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.

He whirled around and screamed,
'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?'

Hostesses ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

This is Ilaria D ' Amico, the hostess for an 

Italian TV talk show...

This is the hostess for an American TV talk show

Where in the hell did we go wrong?

 Thank You Mr. Trailbee

Other Italian Loving Rule 5 ers:

 

Proof Positive

Randy's Roundtable

Reaganite Republican

teresamerica

Guns and Bikinis

Maggie's Notebook 

TOTUS

In a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
Adrienne's Corner
The Feral Irishman
Knuckledraggin My Life Away
Diogenes' Middle Finger
Ninety Miles From Tyranny
Doubletroubletwo  
Angrymikes hood 
MissK's World...
American Power
GOODSTUFF'S CYBER WORLD
A Nod To The Gods   
Act Well Your Part
Subject to Change
Your Crazy Uncle Bubba
Political Clown Parade
The Last Tradition

Average Bubba     

Friday Fun

I hear the flu is going around again.

Thank You Mr. Trailee

Thank You Brighid (LINK)

Curtain Rods

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, 

crates and suitcases.
 

On the second day, she had the movers come and 

collect her things.
 

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their 

beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some 

soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, 

a jar of caviar and a bottle of spring-water.
 

When she had finished, she went into each and every room 

and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in 

caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
 

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was 

bliss for the first few days . Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. 

Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam 

cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.  Exterminators 

were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to 

move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace 

the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!
People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to 

work in the house. The maid quit.
 

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
 

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, 

they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.    
Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused 

to return their calls.
 

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from 

the bank to purchase a new place. 

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.     
He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely 

and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be 

willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange 

for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, 

he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house 

had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they 

watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?!

Thank You Mr. Trailbee!

English Weather

The Archbishop of Canterbury and

The Royal Commission for Political Correctness announced today that

The climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as

‘English Weather’

Rather than offend a sizeable portion of the

UK population, it will now be referred to as:

'Muslim Weather'

(Partly Sunni, but mostly Shi'ite)

 

Thanks Dan