Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog
chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, which weighs
191 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me
asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant?
So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told
What did she think I had an elephant?
So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told
her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet
again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in
the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of
most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way
that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets
and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food
is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try
it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line
was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the
dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a
Fire Hydrant and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a
heart attack he was Laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you
Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you
ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think
of crazy things to say.
Thank You Mr. Trailbee.
QUESTION: I'm seeing a "reCAPTCHA" in my comments section. Is everyone seeing it? I've never had it before. I just bypassed it myself, but can you. I have it turned off in settings but it's still there for me. Let me know please.
QUESTION: I'm seeing a "reCAPTCHA" in my comments section. Is everyone seeing it? I've never had it before. I just bypassed it myself, but can you. I have it turned off in settings but it's still there for me. Let me know please.
I'll have to remember that one.
ReplyDeleteRobert, old guys have to jab em once in awhile.
ReplyDeleteI may use that one.
ReplyDeleteLL, sure, have fun at your local Costco.
ReplyDeleteThanks......I love it
ReplyDeleteHave you tried the Blue Buffalo Life Protection diet?
ReplyDeleteIt's made with only the finest natural ingredients and real meat. It offers you the wholesome nutrition to support a healthy lifestyle at any age even for senior dawgs like you.
Since it supports a healthy lifestyle, perhaps the inclination of stopping to pee on a hydrant could be eliminated.
LOL.
Have a great week my friend.
BTW, I was able to bypass CAPTCHA.
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahahahahaha. I'd have been on the floor if I'd have been there. We retired folks can and do come up with some great stuff.
ReplyDeleteYes you have CAPTCHA on in your comments. Thank goodness it's numbers and not letters. I can rarely get the letters.
Have a fabulous day Odie. ☺
Yep. It's there.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't aware there's a "People Of Costco" site.
ReplyDeletePS So which weighed 190 pounds, the bag or the dog?
Seriously, that is one big assed dog. I think you made up this joke and you really have a teeny chihuahua ;)
ReplyDeleteNow THAT's funny!
ReplyDeleteUnknown, thanks for loving it.
ReplyDeleteCurmudgeon, but I like peeing on hydrants.
ReplyDeleteCurmudgeon, I need to find out why it's there.
ReplyDeleteSandee, it was letters before. Try to bypass it. ignore it.
ReplyDeleteTrailbee, damn I hate that. I can bypass it though.
ReplyDeleteEdutcher, of course there's a "People of Costco" site.
ReplyDeleteCube, guilty.
ReplyDeleteEuripides, yes it is.
ReplyDelete