Odds and Ends From Hal ... Bless Him

The frequency of sexual activity of senior males depends 

on where they were born. Statistics just released from 

Statistics Canada and The United Nations B.O.H. Team, 

revealing that:
 

North American men between 60 and 80 years of age, 

will on average, have sex two to three times per week, 

whereas Japanese men, in exactly the same age group, 

will have sex only once or twice per year if they are lucky.
This has come as very disturbing news to both me and 

most of my buddies at  the golf club,
as none of us had any idea that we were Japanese.

************************************** 

I was sitting at a long stop light yesterday, thinking about what I would do to keep busy during retirement, minding my own business and patiently waiting for the light to turn green, even though there was no on-coming traffic.
 An old Nissan full of bearded, young, loud Muslims, shouting anti-American slogans, with a half-burned American flag duct-taped on the trunk of their car, and a "Remember 9-11" slogan spray painted on the side, stopped next to me.

Suddenly they yelled, "Allah Akbar!  Praise Allah!  Death to America!" and took off before the light changed.

Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler truck came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.

For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, "Man... that could have been me!"

So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver!

Thanks Hal 

Parking Woes . . . .

Thanks Dan

Awww Monday ~ Woodsterman Style ~100 ~

Source: This Has To Be The Most Unlikely Animal Friendship We've Ever Encountered. See Why! by jlaunc on Rumble

Doctor, Doctor . . . .

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black ?

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart 

rate from worrying about histesticles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, 

holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look magnificent." 

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely: 

"Are - My - Test - Results - Back?"

************************

HAPPY EASTER! 

The Raiders ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

Other Rule 5 ers:

The Other McCain 
Proof Positive

Randy's Roundtable

Guns and Bikinis

Maggie's Notebook 

RULE 5 SITES
TOTUS

In a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
Adrienne's Corner
The Feral Irishman
Knuckledraggin My Life Away
Diogenes' Middle Finger
Ninety Miles From Tyranny
Doubletroubletwo  
Angrymikes hood 
MissK's World...
American Power
GOODSTUFF'S CYBER WORLD
A Nod To The Gods   
Your Crazy Uncle Bubba
Political Clown Parade
 The Last Tradition
The Right Way

A Funnerist Friday

Thanks Face Critters.

PROSTATE EXAM

An old guy, named Odie, goes to his doctor for his physical 

and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution.

When Odie gets there, he discovers the Urologist 

is a very pretty female doctor.

The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to.

I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say,

'99'.
 

Odie obeys and says,
 

"99".

 
The doctor says, "Great, now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say,
 

'99".
 

Again, Odie says,
 

'99'."

The doctor said, "Very good.
Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly."

"I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis
to keep it out of the way."
 

"Now take a deep breath and say,

'99'."

 

Odie begins,


 

"One...


 

two.




three."

Thanks David

Wednesday Is For Silly

Thanks Facebook Peeps

Is It Liberal Tuesday Already

Thank You Facebook Buds

Awww Monday ~ Woodsterman Style XCIX

Dog With Chinese Name

Whether  you own a dog or not, you must appreciate the efforts of this
owner to sell her dog. Look at the picture and then read the sales  
pitch below.

Dog For Sale .
Free to good home.
Excellent guard dog.
Owner cannot afford to feed Jethro anymore, as there are no more drug
pushers,  thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood
for him to eat.  Most of them knew Jethro only by his Chinese street name,
 
Ho Lee Schitt.

Thanks Hal