Woodsterman

Monday, March 21, 2016

Awww Monday ~ Woodsterman Style XXXXI

Thanks Hal

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Sunday Sillies

Thanks Facebook Friends

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Large Breasts ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

WHOOHOO!!!!

Other Big Boob Loving Rule 5 ers:

The Other McCain
Proof Positive

Randy's Roundtable

Reaganite Republican

Guns and Bikinis

Maggie's Notebook

RULE 5 SITES
TOTUS

In a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
Adrienne's Corner
The Feral Irishman
Knuckledraggin My Life Away
Diogenes' Middle Finger
Ninety Miles From Tyranny
Doubletroubletwo
Angrymikes hood
MissK's World...
American Power
GOODSTUFF'S CYBER WORLD
A Nod To The Gods
Act Well Your Part
Subject to Change
Your Crazy Uncle Bubba
Political Clown Parade
The Last Tradition

Friday, March 18, 2016

Another Fun Friday

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Happy Saint Patrick's Day From O'Woodsterman

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Choose Wisely

While walking down the street one day, a presidential

candidate was struck by a car and killed. His soul arrives
in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “It seems there is a

problem. We seldom see a high officials around these
parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”
“No problem, just let me in,” says the politician.
“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from the higher ups.

What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and
one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”
“Really? I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,”

says the politician.
“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and

he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and
he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.

In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it
are all his friends and other politicians who had worked

with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress.

They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce

about the good times they had while getting rich at the

expense of the people. They then dined on lobster,

caviar and the finest champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly

guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are all having such a good time that before the

politician realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves

while the elevator rises.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in

heaven where St. Peter is waiting , “Now it’s time to visit
heaven…”
The politician joins a group of contented souls moving

from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They
have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours

have gone by and St. Peter returns.
“Well, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven.

Now choose your eternity.”
The politician reflects for a minute, then answers:

“I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been
delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes

down, down, down to hell…
Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle

of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He
sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash

and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the
ground.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm

around the politician’s shoulders.
“I don’t understand,” stammers the politician.

“Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse,
and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced

and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland
full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”
The devil smiles at him and says,

“Yesterday we were campaigning, Today, you voted.”

The moral of this story is: Vote wisely on Election Day!

Thanks Hal

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Cinderella

Cinderella is now 95 years old.

After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she

happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world

go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for

companionship.

One sunny afternoon out of nowhere,

appeared the fairy godmother.

Cinderella said,
"Fairy Godmother, what are you doing

here after all these years"?

The fairy godmother replied,
"Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary

life since I last saw you.
Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"

Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some

thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish:

"The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor.
I'm living hand to mouth on my disability checks, and I

wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension.
Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold.

Cinderella said,
"Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother"

The fairy godmother replied,
"It is the least that I can do.
What do you want for your second wish?"

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said,
"I wish I were young and full of the beauty

and youth I once had."

At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful

young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside

of her that had been dormant for years.

And then the fairy godmother spoke once more:
"You have one more wish; what shall it be?"

Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in

the corner and says,
"I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat,
into a kind and handsome young man."

Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental

a change in his biological make-up that, when he

stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes

of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.

The fairy godmother said,
"Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life."

With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity,
the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.

For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked

into each others eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing

at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.

Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed

in her rocking chair, & held her close in his

young muscular arms.

He leaned in close,
blowing her golden hair
with his warm breath
as he whispered...

"Bet you're sorry you neutered me!"