Sunday, February 3, 2013

49ers and the Super Bowl

Ever since I moved to Northern California, 33 years 
ago, I've been a faithful 49er fan. While I was in 
Southern California, I was a Raider fan. They moved
to Southern California the year I moved north. They
then became the Traitors. I never liked the home team
the Rams. 

I am now a rabid 49er fan and haven't missed a game
in 33 years. Below you'll see the youngest 49er fan. I'm
really showing off my Grandson Dresden, his new video,
and his new outfit.




Friday, February 1, 2013

The Veterinarian


 One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, 
the pastor of a
small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. 
It happened again the next week!

The following Sunday, he watched as the 
offering was collected and saw an
elderly woman put the distinctive pink 
envelope on the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, 
overcome by curiosity, approached her.


  "Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put 

$1,000 a week in the

  collection plate," he stated.

"Why, yes," she replied, "every

  week my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church."
 The pastor replied, "That's wonderful. 
But $1,000 is a lot; are you sure
 you can afford this? 
How much does he send you?"
 The elderly woman answered, "$10,000 a week."
The pastor was amazed. 
"Your son is very successful; 
what does he do for a living?"
"He is a veterinarian," she answered.
"That's an honorable profession, 
but I had no idea they made that much
money," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"


  The woman answered proudly, "In Nevada
... He has two cat houses, one in Las Vegas ,
and one in Reno"

 Thanks Dan !

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Snow

Just got off the phone with a friend who lives in 
Northern Tip of Newfoundland. He said that since 
early this morning the snow has been nearly waist 
high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping 
way below zero and the north wind is increasing to 
near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look 
through the kitchen window and just stare. He says 
that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Political Humor for the Day

And you were led to believe that a Muslim wouldn't kiss a pig.

( Pelosi is thinking) “I’ve had so many face lifts, you’re actually kissing my ass."

**********************************
The Best Dear Abby Yet :

Dear Abby,
My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says pay the minimum and let our kids worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up with the                interest. He’s demanding to get his own way on everything.
He has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors that most of them no longer speak to us. The few that do are an odd bunch to whom he has been giving a lot of expensive gifts, running up our bills even more.
Also, he has gotten religious. one week he hangs out with Catholics and the next with people who say the Pope is the Anti-Christ, and the next week he's with Muslims.
Finally, the last straw.... He's demanding that before anyone can be in the same room with him, they must sign a loyalty oath. It's just so horribly creepy!
Can you help?
Signed,
Lost
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Lost,
Suck it up and stop whining, Michelle. You're getting to live in the White House for free, travel the world, have others pay your outlandish expenses, plus you get to wear those terrible clothes and still have the media rave about you....You can divorce the jerk any time you want, but the rest of us are stuck with the idiot for 4 more years!
Signed,
Abby

Thanks David !

Monday, January 28, 2013

Men Think Up Weird Stuff


This actually happened.
They dressed the truck up with the guy tied down on the roof.
The driver and passengers put on Moose heads.
Then they went down the toll road Interstate, causing 16 accidents.
Yes; they went to jail...
Yes; alcohol was involved...

It's an oldie but a goody ... Thanks Dan

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Fred & Edna........

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you 
want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with
all they have.....

Fred and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. 
One day while they were walking past the hospital 
swimming pool, Fred suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there
 

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. 
She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.


When the Head Nurse/Director became aware of Edna's 
heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged 
from the hospital, as she now considered her to be 
mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have 
good news and bad news. The good news is you're being 
discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a 
crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you 
love... I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Fred hanged  himself in the bathroom 
with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. 
I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry...

How soon can I go home?'

Thanks Nominedeus

Friday, January 25, 2013

Female Body Piercing


Female body piercing reaches 
new level of sophistication!
 
The ULTIMATE in Women's
Body Piercing... Biggest turn 
on for guys!
 
Men all over the country are 
urging their wives
And sweethearts to get this 
'chic' procedure.
 
The ongoing cost for this piece of 
designer piercing in Canada now 
exceeds $10,000.
 
Many men feel it is worth it and are 
prepared to pay a much higher price for it!!!




Thank You Nominedeus

(Where's Jodi ?)