Monday, September 30, 2013

Neil Cavuto Discusses Fox News, Obamacare, and the President


Well, there's a little time left to sign the "Dontfundit" Petition.
Please click on it on the top of my sidebar. Our goal should be
to make every politician think twice about singing the praises
of ObamaCare. We especially need to make those RINO's 
very uncomfortable. 

I salute the PEOPLE that Washington has forgotten!

Sunday, September 29, 2013

RINO Alert .... RINO Alert ....



If you don't think this is war, you haven't been paying attention.

Mitch McConnell is up for reelection, and I will do all 
I can to get rid of this disgusting RINO! I support 
Matt Bevin for the Senator from Kentucky. 
He has Mitch McConnell running scared already.

The old guard of the Republican Party has to go!
They care more about being reelected and cocktail parties
with the Dems and the Main Stream Media than they do about
their country or who elected them. 

I'll be highlighting one of these jerks at least once a week.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Alligator Shoes ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style



A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.
She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, 
but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors 
were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude 
of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just 
go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes 
at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll 
luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, 
set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he 
spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, 
shotgun in hand.
Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly 
toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great 
deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank.
Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. 
The shopkeeper watched in amazement.
Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back. Frustrated, 
she shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"





Other Shoe Wearing Rule 5 ers:
 

Friday, September 27, 2013

Walking Eagle


President BARACK OBAMA was invited to address a major 
gathering of the American Indian Nation in upstate New York ...
He spoke for almost an hour about his plans for increasing every 
Native American's present standard of living. He referred to his 
time as a U.S. Senator and how he had voted for every Native 
American issue that came to the floor of the Senate.

Although President Obama was vague about
the details of his plans, he seemed most
enthusiastic and spoke eloquently about
his ideas for helping his, "Red sisters and brothers".

At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes
presented Obama with a plaque inscribed with
his new Indian name, "Walking Eagle".

The proud President Obama accepted the plaque and then 
departed in his motorcade to a fundraiser, waving to the crowds.

A news reporter later asked the group of chiefs how they came 
to select the new name they had given to the President.

They explained that "Walking Eagle" is the name given to a 
bird so full of crap it can no longer fly.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Men in Heaven


After everyone on earth was dead and waiting to enter Heaven, 
God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. 
One line for the men who were true heads of their household, 
and the other line for those who were dominated by their 
women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter."


Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men. 
The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 
100 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of 
their household, there was only one man. God said to the long 
line, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves; I created you 
to be the head of your household. You have been disobedient 
and have not fulfilled your purpose. Of all of you, only one 
obeyed. Learn from him." God turned to the one man, "How did 
you manage to be the only one in this line?"
   
The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Israel’s New ‘Cutting Edge’ Airport Security


TEL AVIV, Israel — The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners.

It's an armored booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but, will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person.

Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone, with none of this crap about racial profiling.

It will also eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials.

You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion.

Shortly thereafter, an announcement:

“Attention to all standby passengers, El Al is proud to announce a seat available on flight 670 to London.

Shalom!”

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Welfare Office ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style



A young man with his pants hanging half off his ass, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched up to the counter and said, 
"Hi. You know, I just H A T E drawing
welfare. I'd really rather have a job.. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing." The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We Just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and
bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2012 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes."


"Because of The long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say
but you will also have, as part of your job, the
assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker said, "Yeah, well... 
You started it." .....




Other rule 5ers with their pants too low:
 

Thanks Dan !

Friday, September 20, 2013

. . . . . . less



Pretty well sums it all up.
WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY!


*Our Phones ~ Wireless
*Cooking ~ Fireless
*Cars ~ Keyless
*Food ~ Fatless
*Tires ~ Tubeless
*Dress ~ Sleeveless
*Youth ~ Jobless
*Leaders ~ Shameless
*Relationships ~ Meaningless
*Attitude ~ Careless
*Wives ~ Fearless
*Babies ~ Fatherless
*Feelings ~ Heartless
*Education ~ Valueless
*Children ~ Mannerless
 

Everything is becoming LESS but still our hopes are ~ Endless.
In fact we are ~ Speechless
And our president is --CLUELESS !!!!


(Oh the Babe? Wearing less ~ I couldn't help myself)

Thanks Dan !

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Senior Drivers



No Longer
Need Drivers Licenses 

My neighbor was working in his yard when he was startled by a 1980's white 4-door sedan that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn.

He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair.

He said with excitement, "You appear quite elderly to be driving."

"Well, yes, I am," she replied proudly. "I'll be 97 next month, and I am now old enough that I don't even need a driver's license anymore."
 
"You don't need a driver's license anymore?!?"

"That's right! The last time I went to my doctor, he examined me and asked if I had a driver's license. I told him 'yes' and handed it to him. He took scissors out of the drawer, cut it into pieces, and threw them in the waste basket, saying, 'You won't need this anymore'.  So I thanked him and left!"
 
 
Thanks Dan !

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Here's One For Our Texas Friends



SOON TO BE IN ALL STATES -

New in Austin, TEXAS

You've got to love this especially if you are from TEXAS, live in TEXAS,
have ever been to TEXAS, heard of TEXAS or know of someone who has been to,
is from or heard of TEXAS. There is a brand new ambulance in Austin, TEXAS .

Possibly coming soon to your city or town; or maybe not. It depends!

I love TEXAS and this is priceless!
 

Monday, September 16, 2013

World's Largest Everything Part 2



WORLD'S TALLEST BUILDING DUBAI 
Burj Dubai 900 meters high.
 WORLD'S COSTLIEST STADIUM....... 
ENGLAND New WEMBLEY STADIUM, 
London ...90,000 capacity Cost...$1.6 billion
 WORLD'S BIGGEST EXCAVATOR 
Built by KRUPP of Germany ...
45,500 tons...95 meters high...215 meters long
 WORLD'S BIGGEST BULLSHIT ARTIST  --  
NO ONE KNOWS WHERE HE'S FROM.
Thanks David !

Sunday, September 15, 2013

World's Largest Everything


WORLD'S LARGEST OFFICE COMPLEX - CHICAGO 
Chicago Merchandise Mart.. Illinois , USA
 WORLD'S LARGEST INDOOR SWIMMING POOL 
World Water Park Edmonton , Alberta , Canada 5 Acres
 WORLD'S LARGEST SHOPPING MALL South China Mall, 
Dongguan, China ..892,000 square meters - shops on 6 floors
 WORLD 'S LONGEST BRIDGE CHINA 
Donghai Bridge , China ...32.5 kilometers
 WORLD'S BIGGEST PLANE AIRBUS 
Airbus A380...........555 Passengers

Thanks David !

Saturday, September 14, 2013

The Vibrator ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style


I just started off with a couple of photos of me. Oh
and some of my friends. I didn't know they could walk
that fast ... wink wink.

********************

A 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with her vibrator. "What are you doing?", asked the mom. "Mom, I am 40 years old and look at me. I am ugly. I will never get married so this is pretty much my husband." The mother walked out of the room, shaking her head.
The next day the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom and upon entering the room found his daughter using the vibrator. "What the hell are you doing?", he asked. His daughter replied, "I already told mom. I am 40 years old now and ugly. I will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to a husband." The father walked out of the room shaking his head too.

The next day the mother came home to find her husband with a beer in one hand, and the vibrator in the other hand, watching the football game. "For Chrissakes, what are you doing?" she cried. The husband replied "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm having a beer and watching the game with my new son-in-law!" 

********************

Some more of my friends in some group shots


 Ah ... Friendship 

Other Vibs of Rule 5 ers:

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Adam's Eve


Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely.                                   
So, God asked him, 'What's wrong with you?' 

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.                               

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.

He said, 'This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you,

and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you                                   

She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag     

and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement.    

She will praise you! 

She will bear your children,

and she will never wake you up in the middle of the night to take care of them.

She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you want.'



Adam asked God, 'What will a woman like this cost?'     

God replied, 'An arm and a leg.'



Then Adam asked, 'What can I get for a rib?'



And now you know the rest of the story............!!!!

BONUS !