A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.
The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!"
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more BMW in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
"Who's that woman with George?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.
Oldie, but goodie.
ReplyDeleteOf course, once wife consults lawyer, it means shopping trips to Paris, wintering in Barbados, summers in Tuscany, BMW in the garage, and yacht club are all hers.
This is the kind of joke that was probably written in the 1950's when men ruled completely.
DeleteNot if he was smart enough to get a prenup!
Deleteedutcher, half but close.
DeleteMatthew, I still have mine ... well sort of.
Deleteruralcounsel, Most marriages begin with very little and grow. A prenup wouldn't work in that case.
Deleteruralcounsel is right, story needs to be updated with a prenup. Still a fun read though:-)
ReplyDeletejabrwok, the wife needed to lighten up and find herself a too friendly masseur.
DeleteSo how come I ended up with a six hundred pound meatloaf?
ReplyDeleteCederq, lucky?
Deletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ta7qvvzU2l8
DeleteDon't want no skinny woman,
Meat don't shake,
Meat don't shake,
So the trick is to make sure your mistress is prettier than your wife.
ReplyDeleteKid, should there ever be another kind?
DeleteThe trick gentlemen is to not take your wife to the places you take your mistress. And you don't take your wife to places where your friends take their mistresses, so illusion is maintained...you know, a Victorian gentleman's club.
ReplyDeleteMiss Judy, is this expert advice?
DeleteJudy, that's exactly what I do.
DeleteCederq, yes it is. We aren't very bright when it comes to this.
DeleteI once worked in a pretty, swanky bar and watched the 'pillars of the community' operate. It was eye-opening to say the least.
DeleteJudy, you are the reason I picked a different bar.
Deleteper many friends who'd gone the divorce route:
ReplyDeletethe lawyer gets 75%, the wife 20%, and the gets 5%
reminds me of the old country song by Bobby Bare
"And you know I guess that makes me the winner"
boron, OUCH!
Delete