ECONOMIC STIMULUS

For your information!

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will likely receive an economic stimulus check from the government. It is indeed a very exciting program and I’ll attempt to explain it by using a Q&A format:

Q:   What is an Economic Stimulus?

A:   It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q:   Where will the government get this money that they are sending to the taxpayers?

A:   From the taxpayers.

Q:   Is the government simply giving me back my own money then?

A:   No, only a smidgen of it.

Q:   What is the purpose of this payment?

A:   The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.

Q:   Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?

A:   Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy with your stimulus check. Use it wisely:



*  If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.

*  If you purchase a computer, the money goes to India, Taiwan or China.

*  If you purchase fruits and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala.

*  If you buy a fuel efficient car the money will go to Japan or Korea.

*  If you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.

 Instead, keep the money in America by”

   (1)   Spending it at a yard sale, or

   (2)   Going to a ballgame, or

   (3)   Spending it on prostitutes, or

   (4)   Buying beer, or

   (5)   Buying a tattoo

These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.

CONCLUSION:   Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.

No need to thank me I’m just glad I could be of help.

Thanks David