Christmas Hospital Decor

You know You Work In A Hospital When

The Christmas Decorations Look Like This

The Bikini ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

 This girl in a Bikini stopped me to ask directions. 

I just kept saying to myself, "Don't stare at her tits, 

don't stare at her tits."
Then she said, "Don't stare at whose tits?"

Other Bikini Watching Rule 5 ers:

The Other McCain 
Proof Positive

Randy's Roundtable

Reaganite Republican

Guns and Bikinis

Maggie's Notebook 

RULE 5 SITES
TOTUS

In a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
Adrienne's Corner
The Feral Irishman
Knuckledraggin My Life Away
Diogenes' Middle Finger
Ninety Miles From Tyranny
Doubletroubletwo  
Angrymikes hood 
MissK's World...
American Power
GOODSTUFF'S CYBER WORLD
A Nod To The Gods   
Act Well Your Part
Subject to Change
Your Crazy Uncle Bubba
Political Clown Parade
The Last Tradition
Politically Incorrect Conservative

Cowboy Heaven . . . .

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked
 
"Well, I can think of one thing," the cowboy offered.
"On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, 
I came upon a gang of bikers
who were threatening a young woman.
I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.
So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and 
smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out 
his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, 
back off or I'll kick the s#*t out of all of you!' "
 St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"
"Couple of minutes ago."

Thanks Hal

Her Majesty

As you know, my dear people, the last year for me has been an annus horribilus. The Royal House of Clinton has been tormented by questions about our handling of finances and subjected to tiresome questions about the tragic events in Benghazi - in the furthest regions of our empire. And, sadly, also questions about my Royal e-mails.

Nevertheless, I will not be daunted in my desire and commitment to serve you, the people. For the next seventeen months I will be traveling among you as one of you, to listen to your deepest longings and needs. I will be with you in your Wal-Marts and beside you in your Burger Kings. I will drive with you down the busy interstate highways of our land, sharing your poverty and needs.

How well I remember the days when the Duke of Arkansas and I were impoverished. After we were expelled from our Washington Palace we hardly had two mansions to rub together. We were so poor that we removed thousands of dollars of china, flatware, carpets and gifts from the Washington Palace just to survive. Shockingly, unscrupulous and ungrateful officials later forced us to return many of these treasures. Now, happily, benefactors from around our empire have given me just enough for us to scrape by.

During these difficult times, we had to cut back. When our daughter was married, we only had three million dollars to spend on her wedding. And, I remember our hopes, as she moved into her $10 million Manhattan apartment, that one day she would be able to move on from that humble abode to something more fitting. After working for MSNBC for a starting salary of a mere $600,000 per year, what else could she do? So I now pay her $3,000,000 a year to run the 'Foundation'.

So, as I travel across our kingdom to meet you all, I will be listening and sharing with you. Then, when the time for the royal election (Coronation) comes, I know I can count on you to crown me as your rightful monarch, with my assurance that I will continue King Obama’s policies, and we can all live happily ever after.

Your Queen-in-Waiting,
Hilarity Rodham Clinton

Thank You Brighid (LINK)

Wednesday Fun

Thank You Facebook Friends

Birthdays Can Cause Work ~OR~ TV Stands Woodsterman Style

 OLD

NEW

Well, this top photo is a TV cabinet I made 25 years ago. 

It took four of us to get into the house because it's made of

solid oak. For my birthday I was told I could have the TV

of my choice (with in reason of course). I settled on this

48" Smart HDTV, and it was plenty because we sit about

10 feet away.  The two games Sunday were great!

I cut that cabinet in half and ended up with what you see

here. If you look closely you can see the original top is on

it. That top is solid oak 1 1/4 inches thick and made in a 

butcher block style. There's about 40 pieces 3/4 of and inch

thick all glued together ... AND HEAVY! I did not attach

the top this time so it can be moved in two pieces. There

are cleats that hold it in place. 

Thanks Mrs. Woodsterman! 

Awww Monday ~ Woodsterman Style XXXIII

Let's Hear It For Football ~ Woodsterman Style

Honoring the teams still left in it.

 Patriots

 Broncos

 Cardinals

 Panthers

****************

I had to stick my team in there for fun

Computer Experts ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

ROCKET SCIENCE...

Here is a challenge!

 

For all of you who keep thinking you are computer experts...Let's see how computer

literate you are.

 

WHAT WOULD CAUSE THIS TO APPEAR ON YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN? 

 

123490=qweriop[ asdhjkl (zxcvnm

 

 

 

 

SEE THE ANSWER BELOW!

  

 

 

 

 YEP, That'll do it!

 

 

  Thanks Hal

Other Computer Expert Rule 5 ers:

The Other McCain 
Proof Positive

Randy's Roundtable

Reaganite Republican

Guns and Bikinis

Maggie's Notebook 

RULE 5 SITES
TOTUS

In a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
Adrienne's Corner
The Feral Irishman
Knuckledraggin My Life Away
Diogenes' Middle Finger
Ninety Miles From Tyranny
Doubletroubletwo  
Angrymikes hood 
MissK's World...
American Power
GOODSTUFF'S CYBER WORLD
A Nod To The Gods   
Act Well Your Part
Subject to Change
Your Crazy Uncle Bubba
Political Clown Parade
The Last Tradition
Politically Incorrect Conservative

The Lecture

Alcohol And Fats . . . .

A Must Have In Every Home In America!

A must have in every home in America!

For everyone who would rather not have a gun in the house!

In view of the recent Supreme Court ruling, sales of this new product may skyrocket.

Washington thinks they are going to take away our guns, so check this out. I like it!

NAIL GUNS! AND, you don't even have to REGISTER them or have LICENSES for them!

AND, you don't have to worry about them being CONCEALED!

Just a LOT of good stuff to do with THIS!

Once in a while something so totally cool comes out that even a guy who doesn't normally even know what he'd like for Father's Day or Christmas would immediately ask for it:

Thank you, DeWalt!!!

New Nail Gun, made by DeWalt.  It can drive a 16-D nail through a 2x4 at 200 yards.

This makes construction a breeze, you can sit in your lawn chair and build a fence.

Hundred round magazine.

Someone invades your home, just nail their ass.

Thanks Hal

The Debt Ceiling . . . .

I love it when a complicated situation can 

be explained in such simple terms!

* Democrats don't understand
THE DEBT CEILING

* Republicans don't understand
THE DEBT CEILING

* Liberals don't understand  
THE DEBT CEILING

* NO ONE understands  
THE DEBT CEILING

SO, allow me to explain ...

Let's say you come home from work and find there 

has been a sewer-backup in your neighborhood.  

Your home has sewage all the way up to your ceiling.

What do you think you should do?

1. raise the ceiling, or
2. pump out the shit?

Your choice is coming in November 2016

Thanks Hal

Awww Monday ~ Woodsterman Style XXXII

Sea Story . . . .

There's an old sea story about a  ship's Captain who 

inspected his sailors, and afterward told the first  

mate that his men smelled bad.

 The Captain  suggested perhaps it would help if the 

sailors would change underwear  occasionally.
 

The first mate responded, "Aye,  aye sir, 

I'll see to it immediately!"

The first mate went straight to the  sailors' berth 

deck and announced, "The Captain thinks you guys 

smell bad  and wants you to change your underwear."

He continued, "Pittman, you change  with Jones, 

McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, and Brown, 

you change  with Schultz."


THE MORAL OF THE  STORY:



Someone may come along and promise  "Change", 

but don't count on things smelling any  better.

Thanks Hal

 

 

Neighbors ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

 I popped my head over my sexy neighbor's fence today to see her lying in her bikini.
"Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR."
"Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?"
"No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

The Brain Surgeon

Dog Day Afternoon ~OR~ Please Pass The Bacon

******************************

Let's hear it for the Baconator!

Thanks Hal

Wizzers For A Wednesday

 When we had snowmobiles we called this "High Speed Tape"

Thanks Facebook Friends