Took down our Rebel flag and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door. We've disconnected our home alarm system and quit our candy-ass Neighborhood Watch.
Bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the center.
Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7.
I've never felt safer and we're saving $49.95 a month! Finally some return on our tax dollars!
my girlfriend's sister goes to the university of maine. we went to visit. she volunteered to us that she was voting for bernie sanders, but couldn't quite articulate what a socialist actually was.
I told her "a socialist is a communist that hasn't been issued his rifle yet. all that free stuff you think he's going to give you? THAT ALL COMES FROM SOMEONE ELSE, AND IS TAKEN AT GUNPOINT. he's a THIEF. A ROBBER. he wields the power of government to do it!"
she started crying.
then I told her "at least bernie is honest. he tells you to your face he's going to steal your stuff and give it to someone else. hillary wants EXACTLY THE SAME THING. but she is perfectly happy to lie to you to get it. so, if you are a democrat you have the options between an honest thief, and a lying thief. and these are the best the democrats can come up with?"
Very good post. So funny. The one with the baby in a gator t-shirt peeing on his Seminole daddy's shirt is one I'm going to send to my youngest daughter who's in grad school at the University of Florida. She's a little torn about this weekend's game, however, because she spent her first undergrad year at the University of Alabama. I'm rooting for Bama and I think she is, too.
Put it here ... I can't wait to read it. I have the Captcha turned OFF but blogger insists it be there. You should be able to bypass it.
** Anonymous, please use a name at the end of your comment. You're all starting to look alike.
*** Moderation has been added due to Spam and a Commenter a little too caustic. I welcome comments, but talk of killing and racist (or even close to racist) are not welcome.
Timely and timeless.
ReplyDeleteI like the last one the very best. Yes we can dream.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day Odie. ☺
LL, that's what it's all about.
ReplyDeleteSandee, I've been dreaming that one since the 90's.
ReplyDeleteHome Security
Took down our Rebel flag and peeled the NRA sticker
off the front door. We've disconnected our home alarm
system and quit our candy-ass Neighborhood Watch.
Bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in
the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of
ISIS in the center.
Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland
Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching
the house 24/7.
I've never felt safer and we're saving $49.95 a month!
Finally some return on our tax dollars!
puyalluppete, good advice for these troubled times.
ReplyDeletemy girlfriend's sister goes to the university of maine. we went to visit. she volunteered to us that she was voting for bernie sanders, but couldn't quite articulate what a socialist actually was.
ReplyDeleteI told her "a socialist is a communist that hasn't been issued his rifle yet. all that free stuff you think he's going to give you? THAT ALL COMES FROM SOMEONE ELSE, AND IS TAKEN AT GUNPOINT. he's a THIEF. A ROBBER. he wields the power of government to do it!"
she started crying.
then I told her "at least bernie is honest. he tells you to your face he's going to steal your stuff and give it to someone else. hillary wants EXACTLY THE SAME THING. but she is perfectly happy to lie to you to get it. so, if you are a democrat you have the options between an honest thief, and a lying thief. and these are the best the democrats can come up with?"
I love an optimist.
ReplyDeleteVery good post. So funny. The one with the baby in a gator t-shirt peeing on his Seminole daddy's shirt is one I'm going to send to my youngest daughter who's in grad school at the University of Florida. She's a little torn about this weekend's game, however, because she spent her first undergrad year at the University of Alabama. I'm rooting for Bama and I think she is, too.
ReplyDeleteAllen BRAVO!
ReplyDeleteedutcher, which one?
ReplyDeleteCube, that's almost as bad as one son in the Army and one in the Navy.
ReplyDelete