The Wheel and Beer . . . .

The two most important events in all of history were 
the invention  of beer and the invention of the wheel...   
 


Beer  required grain and that was the  beginning of agriculture.             
Neither  the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet,

so  while our early humans were sitting around waiting 
for  them to be invented,

they just stayed close to the  brewery. 
That's how villages were  formed.   
 
The  wheel was invented to get man to the  beer.   
 
These  two were the foundation of modern 
civilization and, together,

were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals.

2.  Conservatives.   
 
Some  men spent their days tracking and killing animals 
to BBQ  at night while they were drinking beer. This was 
the  beginning of what is known as the 
Conservative movement.   
 
Other  men who were less skilled at hunting learned to 
live off  the conservatives by showing up for the nightly 
BBQ's and  doing the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. 
This was the  beginning of the Liberal movement.   
 
Some  of these liberal men evolved into women. 
Others became  known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy 
Liberal achievements  include the domestication of cats, 
the invention of group  therapy, group hugs, and the 
concept of democratic voting  to decide how to divide 
the meat and beer that  Conservatives provided.   
 
Over  the years Conservatives came to be symbolized 
by the  largest, most powerful land animal on earth, 
the elephant.  Liberals are symbolized by the jackass 
for obvious  reasons.   
 
Modern  Liberals like lite beer (with lime added), 
but most prefer  white wine or imported bottled water. 
They eat raw fish  but like their beef well done. Sushi, 
tofu, and French  food are standard Liberal fare. 
Another interesting  evolutionary side note: many 
Liberal women have higher  testosterone levels 
than their men.   
 
Most  college professors, social workers, personal 
injury  attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood, 
group  therapists and community organizers are Liberals. 
Liberals  meddled in our national pastime and invented the  
designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the 
pitcher also bat.   
 
Conservatives  drink real beer. They eat red meat and 
still provide for  their women. Conservatives are big 
game hunters, rodeo  cowboys, lumberjacks, construction 
workers, firemen,  medical doctors, police officers, engineers, 
corporate  executives, athletes, members of the military, 
airline  pilots, and generally anyone who works productively.   
Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives  
who want to work for a living.   
 
Liberals  produce little or nothing. They like to govern the  
producers and decide what to do with the production.  
Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than  
Americans. That is why most of the Liberals remained in  
Europe when Conservatives were coming to America . 
They  crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a  
business of trying to get more for  nothing.   
 
Here  ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted  
that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily  respond 
to this post.   
 
A  Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the  
absolute truth of this history that it will be shared  immediately 
to other true believers and to just piss off  more liberals.   
 
And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self.

I'm going to have another  beer.

Thanks Hal