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Friday, January 2, 2015

My Wife is Missing


A husband went to the sheriff’s department to report 
that his wife was missing.


Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping 
yesterday and has not come home.


Sergeant: What is her height?


Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.


Sergeant: Weight?


Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.


Sergeant: Color of eyes?


Husband: Never noticed.


Sergeant: Color of hair?


Husband: Changes a couple times a year. 
Maybe dark brown.


Sergeant: What was she wearing?


Husband: Could have been a skirt or shorts. 
I don’t remember exactly.


Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?


Husband: She went in my truck.


Sergeant: What kind of truck was it?


Husband: Brand new 2015 Ford F150 King 
Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special 
ordered with manual transmission. It has a
custom matching white cover for the bed. Custom 
leather seats and “Bubba” floor mats. Trailering package 
with gold hitch. DVD with navigation,
21-channel CB radio, six cup holders, 
and four power outlets. Added special
alloy wheels and off-road Michelins. 
Wife put a small scratch on the drivers door.


At this point the husband started choking up.


Sergeant: Don’t worry buddy. We’ll find your truck.

Thank You Hal!
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13 comments:

  1. CurmudgeonJanuary 2, 2015 at 6:15 AM

    Did it have an "Obama Sucks" bumper sticker on it? I may have found his truck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Woodsterman (Odie)January 2, 2015 at 12:31 PM

      Curmudgeon, Of course it's the missing truck. Does this guy sound like a metrosexual Obama voter?

      Delete
  2. AdrienneJanuary 2, 2015 at 7:06 AM

    I saw that one coming, but it's still funny. Happy New Year, Odie.

    ReplyDelete
  3. SandeeJanuary 2, 2015 at 7:56 AM

    Sounds right to me. Me have a one track mind. It varies when they want sex, but after that it's back to what they love the most. Bwahahahahahaha.

    Have a fabulous day Odie. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  4. EuripidesJanuary 2, 2015 at 9:06 AM

    Brings tears to my eyes, losing a truck like that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Woodsterman (Odie)January 2, 2015 at 12:36 PM

      Euripides, sad to think a guy could lose a nice truck like that.

      Delete
  5. edutcherJanuary 2, 2015 at 1:05 PM

    Funny how that works out.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Mike aka ProofJanuary 3, 2015 at 12:04 AM

    Could be worse, Odie. You could have told the one where the guy was telling his buddy he thought his wife had died. "The sex is the same, but the dishes are starting to pile up in the sink!"

    ReplyDelete
  7. Woodsterman (Odie)June 3, 2016 at 2:30 PM

    edutcher, Did that work out?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Woodsterman (Odie)June 3, 2016 at 2:31 PM

    Proof, that was my first wife you're thinking of.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Woodsterman (Odie)June 3, 2016 at 2:35 PM

    Natashia Winters, I don't allow free ads on my site. Spread your spam elsewhere please.

    ReplyDelete

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