Thursday, March 31, 2011

Wally World with a Whole Different Look #2

 You guess!

 Walmart Brand Spirits

 Rib Cages.

 
Assorted Dried Reptiles.


Beautiful Boxes Of Liquor.

A thank you and H/T to Stopsign

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Wally World with a Whole Different Look

Welcome to Chinese
 
Wal-Mart
 We thought our Wal-Marts had it all.

 Crocodiles.

 Bulk Rice.

 Mixed Meat for the choosing.


Turtles and other stuff.

 

Monday, March 28, 2011

Ponderings of a Laid Off Union Worker

John Smith started the day early having set his alarm  clock
(MADE IN JAPAN )
for 6 am.

 While his coffeepot
(MADE IN CHINA)


was perking, he shaved with his
electric razor
(MADE IN HONG KONG)


He put on a
dress shirt
(MADE IN SRI LANKA),


designer jeans
(MADE IN SINGAPORE)

and
tennis shoes
(MADE IN KOREA)

After cooking his breakfast in his new
electric skillet
(MADE IN INDIA)


he sat down with his
calculator
(MADE IN MEXICO)


to see how much he could spend today. After setting his 
watch
(MADE IN TAIWAN )


to the radio
(MADE IN INDIA )


he got in his car
(MADE IN GERMANY )


filled it with GAS
(from Saudi Arabia )


and continued his search
for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.


At the end of yet another discouraging
and fruitless day checking his Computer
( made in MALAYSIA ),


John decided to relax for a while.
He put on his sandals
(MADE IN BRAZIL ),


poured himself a glass of wine
(MADE IN FRANCE )


and turned on his TV
(MADE IN INDONESIA ),


and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job
in AMERICA


AND NOW HE'S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A PRESIDENT



----->   MADE IN KENYA   <----- 

*********************************
Dear John,
 
If your union didn't support politicians that think businesses are evil and regulate and tax them accordingly, you and 15% of your fellow Americans would be working now ! 
 
Woodsterman

Sunday, March 27, 2011

The Perfect Husband .....

      
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.  A cellular phone on a
bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk.  Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN:  "Hello"
WOMAN:  "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN:  "Yes."
WOMAN:  "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat.  It's
only $2,000.  Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN:  "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Cadillac dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN:  "How much?"
WOMAN:  "$90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing.  I was just talking to Janie and
found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market.  They're
asking $980,000 for it."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably
take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really
want."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later!  I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up.  The other men in the locker room are staring at him in
astonishment, mouths wide open.

He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Only You Can Help - Pay Those Dues




Be sure and keep those union dues current
because they help support your local crooks 
and Democrap politicians.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Monday, March 21, 2011

Fun Signs For Your Approval

Please forgive me for being absent from your blogs
lately. It's snowing here again like a bat out of hell.
Some of these signs you have seen, so live with it ...
I'm busy.




Thanks Dan

Sunday, March 20, 2011

The State of California Wants Me Dead !

With snow, slush, ice, water, and road sand and water mix on the road 
I was driving down to Colfax to the Chevy dealer to have
my truck worked on. I forgot that one of my complaints for the
dealer was my windshield washer fluid was freezing. I felt when
they topped it off at the last oil change they didn't use sub-zero
temperature washer fluid as they should have. By the way, Colfax is 60 miles to the west over Donner Summit. 

As I was driving on I-80 west there was trucks and cars throwing
all kinds of crap onto my windshield. At one point I couldn't see
through the windshield. Of course I hit the windshield washer,
but nothing happened because the fluid was frozen. I had to pull
over, barely seeing, and throw snow on the windshield. Can I tell
you I was very happy at this time. 

I made it to the dealer and went completely ballistic. I asked if
they had a new guy that needed to be taught the right way to
refill  windshield washer fluid with sub-zero temp stuff. The
head mechanic told me the state of California doesn't allow
them to put "Sub-zero" stuff in my truck because of F***ing
environmental concerns. Too much of the anti-freeze stuff
is bad for the environment. They can't put anything in my
truck that will stay thawed below 32 degrees.

Because of a bunch of "Greenie Bastards" I was almost killed
in the name of God knows what.

PLEASE PASS THIS STUPID CRAP ALONG !!!

THIS IS TRUE FROM WOODSTERMAN !!!
 

Saturday, March 19, 2011

This Could Save Your Life




Remember this is advice that could save your life - - - - -


NEVER !

NEVER !

NEVER !

NEVER !

Hold in a fart !!!

Who does this remind you of ?

Now, how about a beautiful message about growing older.

 Shit, I forgot what it was .......

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Made in America !

I Am the Democratic, Republican Liberal-Progressive's Worst Nightmare.
I am a White, Conservative, Tax-Paying, American Veteran, Gun Owning Biker.
I am a Master leather worker. I work hard and long hours with my hands to earn a living.

I believe in God and the freedom of religion, but I don't push it on others.
I ride Harley Davidson Motorcycles, and drive American-made cars, and I believe in American products and buy them whenever I can.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and not some liberal governmental functionary, Democratic or Republican, that wants to share it with others who don't work!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer; it makes you a smart American.

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything. Get over it!

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac or any other item, you should do it in English.

I believe there should be no other language option.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
    
My heroes are Malcolm Forbes, Bill Gates, John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and Willie G. Davidson, who makes the awesome Harley Davidson Motorcycles.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it.

I've never owned a slave, nor was I a slave. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks, and neither have you!

I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country!

This is AMERICA ...We like it the way it is and more so the way it was ...so stop trying to change it to look like Russia or China , or some other socialist country!

If you were born here and don't like it... you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you. I believe it is time to really clean house, starting with the White House, the seat of our biggest problems.

I want to know which church is it, exactly, where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution.

Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are, but not just because you happen to ride a bike.

And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my driver's license. I think it's good....  And I'm proud that 'God' is written on my money..

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause.... Get a job and do your part to support yourself and your family!

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents....

I believe 'illegal' is illegal no matter what the lawyers think!

I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA!

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know....

We want our country back!
    My Country.....
I hope this offends all illegal aliens.

My great, great, great, great grandfather watched and bled as his friends died in the Revolution & the War of 1812.  My great, great, great grandfather watched as his friends died in the Mexican American War.  My great, great grandfather watched as his friends & brothers died in the Civil War.  My great grandfather watched as his friends died in the Spanish-American War. My grandfather watched as his friends died in WW I. My father watched as his friends died in WW II.

I watched as my friends died in Vietnam, Panama & Desert Storm. My son watched & bled as his friends died in Afghanistan and Iraq. None of them died for the Mexican Flag. Everyone died for the American flag.

Texas high school students raised a Mexican flag on a school flag pole, other students took it down. Guess who was expelled...the students who took it down.

California High School students were sent home on Cinco de Mayo, because they wore T-shirts with the
American flag printed on them.

Enough is enough

This message needs to be viewed by every American; and every American needs to stand up for America .

We've bent over to appease the America-haters long enough. I'm taking a stand.

I'm standing up because the hundreds of thousands who died fighting in wars for this country, and for the American flag.

If you agree, stand up with me. If you disagree, please let me know.  I will gladly remove you from my e-mail list.

And shame on anyone who tries to make this a racist message.

AMERICANS, stop giving away Your RIGHTS !

Let me make this clear! THIS IS MY COUNTRY !

This statement DOES NOT mean I'm against immigration !

YOU ARE WELCOME HERE, IN MY COUNTRY, welcome to come legally:

1. Get  a sponsor !

2. Learn the LANGUAGE, as immigrants have in the past !

3. Live by OUR rules !

4. Get a job !

5. Pay YOUR Taxes !

6. No Social Security until you have earned it and Paid for it !

7. NOW find a place to lay your head !

If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone, then YOU'RE  PART OF THE PROBLEM !

We've gone so far the other way . . .  bent over backwards not to offend anyone.

Only AMERICANS seems to care when American Citizens are being offended !

WAKE UP America ! ! !

Made in the U S A & DAMN PROUD OF IT!!!


Authored by an Unknown Proud American ! 

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Dear Senator

Alan Simpson, Senator from Wyoming, Co-Chair of Obama's deficit commission, calls senior citizens the Greediest Generation as he compared " Social Security " to a Milk Cow with 310 million teats. August, 2010 .

Here’s a response in a letter from a unknown fellow in Montana, I think he is a little ticked off !


He also tells it like it is !

“Hey Alan, let’s get a few things straight…

1. As a career politician, you have been on the public dole for FIFTY YEARS.

2. I have been paying Social Security taxes for 48 YEARS (since I was 15 years old.  I am now 63).

3. My Social Security payments, and those of millions of other Americans, were safely tucked away in an interest bearing account for decades until you political pukes decided to raid the account and give OUR money to a bunch of zero ambition losers in return for votes, thus bankrupting the system and turning Social Security into a Ponzi scheme that would have made Bernie Madoff proud.

4. Recently, just like Lucy & Charlie Brown, you and your ilk pulled the proverbial football away from millions of American seniors nearing retirement and moved the goalposts for full retirement from age 65 to age 67. NOW, you and your shill commission is proposing to move the goalposts YET AGAIN.

5. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying into Medicare from Day One, and now you morons propose to change the rules of the game.  Why?  Because you idiots mismanaged other parts of the economy to such an extent that you need to steal money from Medicare to pay the bills.

6. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying income taxes our entire lives, and now you propose to increase our taxes yet again.  Why?  Because you incompetent bums spent our money so profligately that you just kept on spending even after you ran out of money.  Now, you come to the American taxpayers and say you need more to pay off YOUR debt.

To add insult to injury, you label us “greedy” for calling “bullshit” on your incompetence.  Well, Captain Bullshit, I have a few questions for YOU.

1. How much money have you earned from the American taxpayers during your pathetic 50-year political career?

2. At what age did you retire from your pathetic political career, and how much are you receiving in annual retirement benefits from the American taxpayers?

3. How much do you pay for YOUR government provided health insurance?

4. What cuts in YOUR retirement and healthcare benefits are you proposing in your disgusting deficit reduction proposal, or, as usual, have you exempted yourself and your political cronies?

It is you, Captain Bullshit, and your political co-conspirators who are “greedy”.  It is you and they who have bankrupted America and stolen the American dream from millions of loyal, patriotic taxpayers.  And for what?  Votes. That’s right, sir.  You and yours have bankrupted America for the sole purpose of advancing your pathetic political careers.  You know it, we know it, and you know that we know it.

And you can take that to the bank, you miserable SOB. ”

PASS IT ON!!!!

Monday, March 14, 2011

The Pharmacist's Monday Morning

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained,
"It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."
Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him,
"Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm
Failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and
Hurried out to the car, just to realize that I'd locked the house with both
House and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys.
"Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was
About three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire."
"When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me
To open up.
I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the time
The darn phone was ringing off the hook."
He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash
Register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor.
I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels and
The phone was still ringing.
When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made
Me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it.
Half of them hit the floor and broke."
"Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got
Back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a
Rectal thermometer.

And believe me mister, as God is my witness, 
all I did was tell her." 
 
 
 
 
BONUS ~ Democrat  Inbreeding
 

Saturday, March 12, 2011

B.J. Novak - 72 Virgins


So, What's better, this or being stoned to death?
Now that's a religion.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Went Through A "Stopsign" On The Way To WalMart? #4

After doing some extensive research (and by that I mean sh*t I just made up) we have concluded
that at some point that shirt was once whole, and at another point in time it became stretched-torn and hanging on by  the seams as you see it now. But for some reason our research cannot conclude when that point in time exactly was. However, the Issac Newton in me is
guessing it occurred right when she put it on.
SNEAK PEAK AT THE GOODS   (OR SHOULD I SAY THE "BADS")
Why does it look like you started to put on another shirt then got tired and
just decided to say f*** it? Also, you back looks like a frog’s face and that makes me happy.
Hey, what gives!? She has her body covered and she isn’t wearing anything too crazy!
So she has big boobs, so what? – All true statements. However, it looks like she is trying
to smuggle watermelons right in front of an employee and that’s funny to me. 
 I plead the fifth…
Thank you and Hat/Tip to our friend Stopsign
 

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Went Through A "Stopsign" On The Way To WalMart? #3

It’s “bring sexy back” not “bring sexy across your whole back-side”.
Thanks for ruining such a great word by the way.
Oh good, I was getting sick of seeing ass-cracks. I’m glad you decided to instead
show us all your gutt-crack. It’s a pleasant change of scenery.
 Really? Do you think when you dress? Did you toss on your shorts because, well hey they rock,
then just go ahead and grab the shirt your kid just jammed into the paper shredder? 
Question: If you are drawing on ridiculous looking eyebrows why not draw them like The Rock's.
Thank You and Hat/Tip to our friend Stopsign


Sunday, March 6, 2011

Always Put Paint in the Trunk

A Lesson learned

The ambulance driver wouldn't let the female paramedic out of the ambulance because she couldn’t stop laughing..........

The people in the blue car had a 25-liter bucket of paint 
on the back seat.  They got hit  by the silver car.



I wonder if the driver was texting?