Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
LESSON FOR TODAY
Sometimes, we try too hard to get to the greener grass.
In the process, we end up in trouble........
And when you find yourself in trouble and you're stuck in a
situation that you can't get out of, there is one thing you should
always remember.......
Not everyone who shows up.......
Is there to help you!!!!
In the process, we end up in trouble........
And when you find yourself in trouble and you're stuck in a
situation that you can't get out of, there is one thing you should
always remember.......
Not everyone who shows up.......
Is there to help you!!!!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
MEXICAN HURRICANE
A CATEGORY 5 HURRICANE hits Mexico.
Two million Mexicans die and over a million
are injured. The country is totally ruined and
the government doesn't know where to start
and is asking for help to rebuild. The rest
of the world is in shock.
Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican
of the world is in shock.
Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican
army control the riots.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil.
Other Latin American countries are sending supplies.
The European community (except France ) is
Saudi Arabia is sending oil.
Other Latin American countries are sending supplies.
The European community (except France ) is
sending food and money.
The United States , not to be outdone, is sending
The United States , not to be outdone, is sending
two million Mexicans to replace the dead ones.
God Bless America !!!!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Ramblings of a Retired Mind
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those
cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse.
I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.
I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have
I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have
what they call blue teeth, I think.
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized
that people didn't like me anyway.
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing
husbands on beer cans!
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is
'when you still have something on the ball, but you are
just too tired to bounce it.'
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age,
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age,
and call it 'Pumping Rust'.
I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when
I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when
your chest is falling into your drawers!
When people see a cat's litter box, they always say,
When people see a cat's litter box, they always say,
'Oh, have you got a cat?' Just once I want to say, 'No,
it's for company!'
Employment application blanks always ask who is to
Employment application blanks always ask who is to
be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should
write, 'A Good Doctor'!
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible
a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me.
They were cramming for their finals.
As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Gotta admire the man for being honest...
POLK COUNTY FLORIDA SHERIFF
GRADY JUDD
GRADY JUDD
An illegal alien in Polk County Florida who got pulled
over in a routine traffic stop ended up 'executing' the
deputy who stopped him. The deputy was shot eight times,
including once behind his right ear at close range. Another
deputy was wounded and a police dog killed.
A state wide manhunt ensued.
A state wide manhunt ensued.
The murderer was found hiding in a wooded area with
his gun. After he shot at them, SWAT team officers open
fired and hit the guy 68 times.
Now here's the kicker.
Naturally, the liberal media went nuts and asked why
they shot the poor undocumented immigrant (illegal alien)
68 times.
Sheriff Grady Judd told the Orlando Sentinel:
(Talk about an all-time classic answer.)
'Because that's all the ammunition we had.'
Sheriff Grady Judd told the Orlando Sentinel:
(Talk about an all-time classic answer.)
'Because that's all the ammunition we had.'
I'm a firm believer of the 2nd Amendment!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Americans Following Obama
A teacher asked her 6th grade class how
many of them were Obama fans.
Not really knowing what an Obama fan is,
Not really knowing what an Obama fan is,
but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all
the kids raised their hands except for Little
Johnny .
The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has
The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has
decided to be different... again.
Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an
Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an
Obama fan."
The teacher asked, "Why aren't you a fan of
The teacher asked, "Why aren't you a fan of
Obama?" Johnny said, "Because I'm a
Republican."
The teacher asked him why he's a Republican.
The teacher asked him why he's a Republican.
Little Johnny answered, "Well, my Mom's a
Republican and my Dad's a Republican, so
I'm a Republican."
Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked,
Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked,
"If your mom was a moron and your dad was
an idiot, what would that make you?"
With a big smile, Little Johnny replied,
With a big smile, Little Johnny replied,
"That would make me an Obama fan."
Recess at the Asylum
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Oh Boy ... Bumper Stickers! V
Well Boys and Girls, all good things must come to
an end. Until the next batch comes along ... Ta Ta.
That's All Folks !
Thanks Dan
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Cow’s, the Constitution, and the Ten Commandments....
Think about this:
1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments
********
COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But yet they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
********
THE CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq ... Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore....
********
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a government building is this --you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of politicians .... it creates a hostile work environment.
1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments
********
COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But yet they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
********
THE CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq ... Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore....
********
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a government building is this --you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of politicians .... it creates a hostile work environment.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Victory or Death in 2010
I was just a Jim McMahon's Blog. He has posted 5
videos that are a MUST watch. It will be the best
45 minutes you've spent in a long time. It explains
what we need to do to win in 2010 and 2012. It will
also restore your faith in a certain Speaker.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
I couldn't help myself. This is what happens when
I should be in the shop, but I'm at the computer
instead. I was helping a fellow blogger with a
new banner, and got carried away with my buddy
Pen. I have a site set up to test my banner and
blog designs (one of many). Check it out HERE.
Oh Boy ... Bumper Stickers! III
Here's the third installment of these great bumper stickers.
Call me lazy, because these are so easy to post. There is no
thinking involved, not that there is with anything else posted
here. Isn't that why you guys and gals keep coming back.
It's kept very simple on purpose.
If you like them ... take them.
Thanks Dan ...
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Oh Boy ... Bumper Stickers! II
You didn't think you were through with these yet,
did you? With the Golden Pantload on the throne,
there's ammunition for a long, long time.
Thanks Dan ...
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Tha Malcontent Contemplates Life in America
An illegal immigrant picks up a hooker.
"Hey, how much youse charge for Da hour of sex, siester?" he asks.
"$100," she replies.
In broken English, he says, "Do you do immigrant style?"
"No!", she says.
"I pay you $200 to do immigrant style."
"No!", she says, not knowing what immigrant style is.
"I pay you $300."
"No!", she says.
"I pay you $400."
"No!" she says.
So finally he says, "OK, I pay $1,000 to do immigrant style."
She thinks, "Well, I've been in the game for over 10 years now. I've had every kind of request from every freaken weirdo from every part of the world. How bad could immigrant style be?"
So, she agrees and has sex with him. Finally, after several hours, they finish. Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, "Hey, I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. But that was good. So, what exactly is immigrant style?"
The illegal immigrant replies, "you gif me da sex den you send bill to Government."
AND THAT MY FRIENDLY TAXPAYER, IS EXACTLY HOW THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ARE SCREWING US NOW!!!
Hat Tip to Mal at The Malcontent
"Hey, how much youse charge for Da hour of sex, siester?" he asks.
"$100," she replies.
In broken English, he says, "Do you do immigrant style?"
"No!", she says.
"I pay you $200 to do immigrant style."
"No!", she says, not knowing what immigrant style is.
"I pay you $300."
"No!", she says.
"I pay you $400."
"No!" she says.
So finally he says, "OK, I pay $1,000 to do immigrant style."
She thinks, "Well, I've been in the game for over 10 years now. I've had every kind of request from every freaken weirdo from every part of the world. How bad could immigrant style be?"
So, she agrees and has sex with him. Finally, after several hours, they finish. Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, "Hey, I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. But that was good. So, what exactly is immigrant style?"
The illegal immigrant replies, "you gif me da sex den you send bill to Government."
AND THAT MY FRIENDLY TAXPAYER, IS EXACTLY HOW THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ARE SCREWING US NOW!!!
Hat Tip to Mal at The Malcontent
Oh Boy ... Bumper Stickers!
There are some brand new bumper stickers out there.
Not only that, but there are some old ones that have
been improved. But, I still have some old favorites
that I have posted because it's my blog and I'm in charge.
Feel free to take anyone you like.
Thanks Dan ...
