Woodsterman: May 2018

Thursday, May 31, 2018

The Cannibal

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came

upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.

Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked

over the menu....

Tourist: $5.00

Broiled Missionary: $10.00
Fried Explorer: $15.00

Democrat Baked or Grilled: $100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked,

"Why such a high price for the Politicians?"

The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one?

They're so full of shit, it takes all morning."

Thanks David

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Fun Wednesday? Why Not . . . .

Thanks Facebookies

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Looking A Lot Like Libturd Tuesday

Thanks Facebookers

Monday, May 28, 2018

Remembering . . . . . .

We start with a banner stolen from Curmudgeon over at PCP (LINK)

I reflect below with different shots from the "Wall".

This wall represents my war as a veteran from this war.

May God Bless all who are on this Wall and those

who gave all from all of our wars.

I follow these four photos with a picture of my best

friend growing up who's name is on this wall.

William I. Mercer

Sunday, May 27, 2018

Old Age Ain't For Wimps . . . .

Two medical students were walking along the street
when they saw an old man walking with his legs
spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.

One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome.
Those people walk just like that."

The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome.
He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."

Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him
And one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help
But notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have..
Could you tell us what it is?"

The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."

The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome."

The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."

The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."

The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."

So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"

The old man said, "Well, I thought it was GAS - but I was wrong, too!"

Thanks Jim

Saturday, May 26, 2018

Olaf's Cow ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

Olaf Swenson, out in his pasture in northern Queensland, took a lightning-quick kick from a cow...right in his crotch.

Writhing in agony, he fell to the ground.

As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor.

He said: "How bad is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next veek and my fiancee, Lena, is still a virgin -- in every vay.

The doctor told him, "Olaf, I'll have to put your willy in a splint to let it heal, and keep it straight. It should be okay next week,
but leave it on dere as long as you can.

He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together...quite an impressive work of art.

Olaf mentioned none of this to Lena, married her, and they went on their honeymoon on the Gold Coast.
That night in the Fifth Avenue Motel, Lena ripped open her blouse to reveal her beautiful, untouched breasts.

She said: "Olaf...you're the first vun! No vun has EVER seen deez."

Olaf immediately dropped his pants and replied:

"Look at dis Lena ... Still in DA CRATE!"