Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Woodsterman's Talk About Life



A couple of us local retired types from the Senior Center were asked to address a high school gathering put on by the PTA. As luck would have it, I was the only speaker to show up, so I had the stage to myself.
 

I talked about staying in school, getting good grades and all that usual bullshit; and since I had plenty of time because those other guys didn't show, I threw it open for questions. The last one asked was, "Can you give us a couple of your life's philosophical beliefs?”
 

I said, “That’s an easy one. Looking back over my 7+ decades, I believe I've spent close to 90% of my earnings on booze and whores. The rest I just wasted.”

I was escorted out without getting to finish my last two rules to live by:

                          1)  If it flies, floats, or fucks, it’s cheaper to rent it

                          2)  If it’s got tits or tires, you’re gonna have problems with it.

I hope they invite me back next year so I can finish.

Kids need to know this stuff!!


Thanks T-Bone

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Saturday, November 18, 2017

POSITIVE ATTITUDE ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style



"Life is not the way it's supposed to be - it's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."

After his plane was hit and he was forced to eject, the Navy fighter pilot finally regained consciousness.

He was in a hospital, in a lot of pain. He found himself in the ICU with tubes/IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function and a nurse hovering over him, looking worried.


It was obvious he was in a life-threatening situation.


The nurse gave him a serious look, straight into his eyes. Knowing he was not only a fighter pilot, but a Sailor, she spoke to him softly and slowly, enunciating each word: "You may not feel anything from the waist down."

Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, "OK...Can I feel your tits, then?"




And that, my friends, is a real positive attitude.




 Thanks T-Bone

Other Big Boobed Nurses Loving Rule 5 ers: