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Thursday, May 28, 2015
Pondering . . . .
I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people.
I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels
and let the problem work itself out.
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I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People
move out of the way much faster now.
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You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her
hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably angry.
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Gone are the days when girls used to cook like
their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
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You know that tingly little feeling you get when
you really like someone? That's common sense
leaving your body.
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I don't like making plans for the day because then
the word "premeditated" get's thrown around
in the courtroom.
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I didn't make it to the gym today.
That makes five years in a row
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I decided to change calling the bathroom the John
and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying
I went to the Jim this morning
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Dear paranoid people who check behind shower
curtains for murderers; if you find one, what's your plan?
18 comments:
Put it here ... I can't wait to read it. I have the Captcha turned OFF but blogger insists it be there. You should be able to bypass it.
** Anonymous, please use a name at the end of your comment. You're all starting to look alike.
*** Moderation has been added due to Spam and a Commenter a little too caustic. I welcome comments, but talk of killing and racist (or even close to racist) are not welcome.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when
ReplyDeleteyou really like someone? That's common sense
leaving your body.
Amen, Odie.
Depends...
ReplyDeleteI changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People
ReplyDeletemove out of the way much faster now.
The solution to traffic jams in Northern Virginia!
I love them all Odie. Some more than others like that first one.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
Chris Matthews is insane! Other than that, It's good to have a normal website like this. Thank you, Odie. :)
ReplyDeleteJust don't toot that horn close to a police car!
ReplyDeleteWhat makes you think stupid people read warning labels?
ReplyDeleteLL, you too?
ReplyDeleteRace, oh I'm sorry. I guess that happens when you get older.
ReplyDeleteAOW, that works in a lot of places.
ReplyDeleteSandee, that first one is my favorite too.
ReplyDeleteTrailbee, "normal" ... where did I go wrong?
ReplyDeleteRon, never.
ReplyDeleteEdutcher, good point, but not useful to this post.
ReplyDeleteThe Marines say to have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
ReplyDeleteImplementation is going to max out my credit cards!
It's comforting to know I have common sense to lose it...
ReplyDeleteProof, That sounds bad Dude.
ReplyDeleteBrighid, sounds tingly.
ReplyDelete