▼

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Pondering . . . .



I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. 
I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels 
and let the problem work itself out.
-------------------------------------------------
I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People 
move out of the way much faster now.
-----------------------------------------------------
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her 
hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably angry.
-----------------------------------------------
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like 
their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
--------------------------------------------------------
You know that tingly little feeling you get when 
you really like someone? That's common sense 
leaving your body.
------------------------------------------------------------
I don't like making plans for the day because then 
the word "premeditated" get's thrown around 
in the courtroom.
---------------------------------------------------
I didn't make it to the gym today. 
That makes five years in a row
-------------------------------------------------------
I decided to change calling the bathroom the John 
and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying 
I went to the Jim this morning
-------------------------------------------------------------
Dear paranoid people who check behind shower 
curtains for murderers; if you find one, what's your plan?
at

18 comments:

  1. LLMay 28, 2015 at 4:32 AM

    You know that tingly little feeling you get when
    you really like someone? That's common sense
    leaving your body.

    Amen, Odie.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Race BannonMay 28, 2015 at 5:02 AM

    Depends...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Always On WatchMay 28, 2015 at 6:21 AM

    I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People
    move out of the way much faster now.

    The solution to traffic jams in Northern Virginia!

    ReplyDelete
  4. SandeeMay 28, 2015 at 6:50 AM

    I love them all Odie. Some more than others like that first one.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  5. trailbeeMay 28, 2015 at 9:01 AM

    Chris Matthews is insane! Other than that, It's good to have a normal website like this. Thank you, Odie. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ron RussellMay 28, 2015 at 11:23 AM

    Just don't toot that horn close to a police car!

    ReplyDelete
  7. edutcherMay 28, 2015 at 1:10 PM

    What makes you think stupid people read warning labels?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Woodsterman (Odie)May 28, 2015 at 2:14 PM

    LL, you too?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Woodsterman (Odie)May 28, 2015 at 2:15 PM

    Race, oh I'm sorry. I guess that happens when you get older.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Woodsterman (Odie)May 28, 2015 at 2:16 PM

    AOW, that works in a lot of places.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Woodsterman (Odie)May 28, 2015 at 2:17 PM

    Sandee, that first one is my favorite too.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Woodsterman (Odie)May 28, 2015 at 2:19 PM

    Trailbee, "normal" ... where did I go wrong?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Woodsterman (Odie)May 28, 2015 at 2:21 PM

    Ron, never.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Woodsterman (Odie)May 28, 2015 at 2:22 PM

    Edutcher, good point, but not useful to this post.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Mike aka ProofMay 28, 2015 at 4:39 PM

    The Marines say to have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
    Implementation is going to max out my credit cards!

    ReplyDelete
  16. BrigMay 28, 2015 at 7:49 PM

    It's comforting to know I have common sense to lose it...

    ReplyDelete
  17. Woodsterman (Odie)May 28, 2015 at 9:19 PM

    Proof, That sounds bad Dude.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Woodsterman (Odie)May 28, 2015 at 9:21 PM

    Brighid, sounds tingly.

    ReplyDelete

Put it here ... I can't wait to read it. I have the Captcha turned OFF but blogger insists it be there. You should be able to bypass it.

** Anonymous, please use a name at the end of your comment. You're all starting to look alike.

*** Moderation has been added due to Spam and a Commenter a little too caustic. I welcome comments, but talk of killing and racist (or even close to racist) are not welcome.