Sunday, February 26, 2012

Parents of the Year Revisited 2

. . . . And, you need a license to fish ?



Thanks Dan !

Saturday, February 25, 2012

A Real Rule 5 From Woodsterman ?

Oh once in awhile I have to let my guard down
and be a little human. May I present:

Alana De La Garza

The woman I believe to be the most beautiful on
television from Law and Order.




Next time I'll present the woman I believe to be 
the most beautiful in the world. Next to
Mrs. Woodsterman of course.

Other Rule 5 ers:

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

School Buses Around the World

If a picture is worth a thousand words, 
how many words would it require to 
explain the answer to the question 
posed at the end of this post?

SCHOOL BUS IN JAPAN 



SCHOOL BUS IN INDIA
And which country do you call when you have
a technical problem with your computer?

Monday, February 20, 2012

iPad Sale


If you are interested in getting an iPad after February, 
I can get hold of them through a contact. These are legal, 
not off the back of a truck. They are from a canceled hospital 
contract due to the government cutbacks.

The numbers are limited and I have twenty iPads going for 
less than half Price, so it's first come, first served.

I have already sold one (see pic below so you can see 
what you would be getting).

Get back to me as quickly as you can, if you want one.

Thanks David !

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Unstoppable Virus




I thought you would want to know 
about this e-mail virus. Even the 
most advanced programs from 
Norton or McAfee cannot take care 
of this one. It Appears to affect  
those who were born prior to 1960!!!
Symptoms:

1.. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. 
Done that!2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail !  That too!
 

3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person..
yep! 

4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to
    you. Aha!
5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.  Well darn!

6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished. 
Ohno
    not  again!

7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND.." And I just
    hate that!

8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE." 
Oh No!



IT IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS." 

Hmmm.....Have I already sent this to you, or did you send it to me?

Thank You Nominedeus (H/T)




Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Short Aircraft Quiz!


This should be an easy quiz for those who have even a modicum of knowledge about aircraft. 
The answer may surprise you.

 
"What is the primary advantage of rotary-winged aircraft over fixed-winged aircraft?" 



I got it wrong, too !

Thanks Dan !

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Monday, February 13, 2012

Password Help

Always choose a memorable password!

A lady helps her man install a new computer.
Once it is completed,
she tells him to select a password,
a word that he'll always remember.
As the computer asks him to enter it,
he looks at his wife and with a macho
gesture and a wink in his eye, he selects
a word but he is annoyed with her reaction,
when he selects: penis.
As he hits "enter", to validate the selection,
his wife collapses with laughter and
rolls on the floor in hysteria
The computer had replied:
TOO SHORT- ACCESS DENIED!

Thanks David !

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Big Truck ~ OR ~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style


Does this make my truck look big ?
Not at all ... huh
Thanks Tripper !

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Politically Incorrect

Every day, a male employee walks up very close 
to a female co-worker at the coffee machine. 
He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her 
hair smells nice.
 
After a week of this, the woman can't stand it 
anymore. She takes her issue to a supervisor in 
Human Resources and asks to file a sexual
harassment grievance against the guy.
 
The supervisor is puzzled and asks, 
"What's threatening about a co-worker
telling you your hair smells nice?"
 
"It's Frank. The midget."

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Appreciated !

Thank You Bushwack, of American and Proud 
for this award .... it is very much appreciated.

Excuse the copy and paste for a lot of this.

The Liebster Award.  Liebster is German for dearest, 
beloved, or favorite. The Liebster Award is given to up 
and coming bloggers, who have less than 200 followers. 

According to the rules I have to…

1. Copy and paste the Major Award to my blog. Done it.
2. Link back the person who gave me the award. Done it, up top.
3. Pick out five favorite blogs with less than 200 followers, 
and leave a comment on their blog to let them know they 
have received the award. Doing it.
4. Hope that the five blogs chosen will keep spreading 
the love and pass it on to five more blogs.

I could have named 50 more, but ...

The Five Are :




Monday, February 6, 2012

A New Fashion Trend ?

Boob Scarves ?
**********
A new sign in the Bank  reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through cash machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'


*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:

1... Drive up to the cash machine.

2. LOWER your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Raise window.

7. Drive off.

************************* ******
FEMALE PROCEDURE:

(Unfortunately, most of this  is the Truth.!!)

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN .

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on mobile phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Hand Brake.

Thank You Dan and Nominedeus (H/T)

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Costa Concorda


Italian cruise ship captain, Captain Schettino, 
began his new job yesterday as a bus driver.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Apology ~ OR ~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

Over the past few months I have posted and forwarded 
some inappropriate pictures and jokes to friends who I thought shared the same sense of humor..

Unfortunately this wasn't the case and I seem 
to have upset quite a few people who have accused me 
of being sexist and shallow..

If you were one of these people, 
please accept my sincerest apologies.

Looking to 2012 onward, I will only post or 
send e-mail with a cultural or educational content such as old monuments, nature and other interesting topics.

Below is a picture of the Pont Neuf Bridge 
in Paris .  It is the oldest bridge
In Paris and took 26 years to build.  
It was completed in 1604 . . . .


OH BUGGER, WHERE DID SHE COME FROM????

Wednesday, February 1, 2012